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First off the what happened. My ex-gf of 5yrs dumped me a month ago for my "bestfriend". Cheated on me with him the day before she broke up with me, and moved on the same day. Now she doesn't want anything to do with me and has created a hatred towards me that has no logical basis. For the detailed version its here, have to warn you its long though.


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Ok just let me say that I am totally ok with a girl who needs time from a relationship and I was totally ok with her when that is what I thought she wanted when the break up first happened. I'm willing to wait for good things. The thing I can't deal with and that I am unwilling to forgive is the fact that she cheated on me with my bestfriend, no ex-bestfriend, of 4yrs and both seem to be ok with it.


So here's my problem. Over thanksgiving break I send here two text messages on her cell phone, which is still in my mothers name its a long story. The first one said:


The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them

knowing you can't have them. Remember happiness is only a state of mind.


The second one: Wishing you a happy turkey day. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be

the world.


And that was it nothing horrible and guilt ridden just something to show her how i feel because she still wont talk to me about it and i feel so lost.

So anyhow this past monday at school Austin, the ex-bestfriend, comes up to me and has the nerve to say he "doesn't appreciate" me sending her those messages. And my god I thought I was going to lose it. My hands started to shake and was practically scream at him and asked him why the heck should i be considerate of his feelings after he betrayed me the way he did. I told him he was a deceitful person and i was going to do what i needed to do to be happy and if he had a problem then we could settle it outside of school, and i walked away because i knew if i stood their any longer I would have got in a fight with him.


So ok i'm all worked up about that and go home and call some of my buddies over and tell them about what happened so before i know it i have like 11 people wanting to go mess up the kids house and car. Which does sound good and all because before he came up to me and said that I was just going to let it all go. But now that he wants to make my expression of a feeling to someone else his business then I'll make sure he gets more than he bargained for.


Ok and on top of this Summer, my ex, starts talking to me in class. I ask her why she has been acting the way she has and stuff, because through all the people i've talked to her i still haven't bashed her in anyway because i still love the girl very much. Anyway she tells me she doesn't want me sending the messages anymore, and thats fine but she should have told me in the first place Austin has no right to stick his nose in it. And i told her that he didn't and that he was going to put himself in an even tougher position if he kept up his with his arrogant attitude. She got mad at that and started cursing at me, which is something i've never heard her do before. She also told me she was angry at me for sharing details on our relationship with other ppl and thats its no one elses business. So i said ok whatever i'm just going to do what makes me happy.


There I think I included everything. Anyway my questions are: Should I keep sending her little messages? I know they make Austin mad which makes me feel satisfied in some way, and its probably antagonizing the enitre situation but if he snaps first especially at school this could turn out good for me. Should I follow through with any plans on doing something to Austin? I mean I did walk away this is the first time i've spoke to either of them in 3weeks, and it seems he wants to keep it going so why not. Why is she mad at me for talking to other people about what happened especially when I told it in a way to not get people angry at her? I'm not going to stop talking about it because talking about it has been the only release i've had and without that i would have done some stupid things. And finally I've still haven't developed a hatred or anger towards her, sure i'm upset and hurt by her but she is still the girl i feel in love with and I feel like she is trying to get me to be mad at her and keep a grudge against her. Should i give into my emotions and be furious with her or what else should i do?


Sorry about the length but there has been a lot happening.

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im very sorry to hear about whats going on. i understand why you are upset because i would be too, however, don't do any thing to austin. in fact, i think you should just try to forget about your ex & him even though that seems hard to do. nothing good will come out of you doing some thing to austin, or you continuing to send your ex messages. it will all only make the situation worse. your ex did tell you to not send her anymore messages, so its only right not to. austin was not a good friend to you by doing what he did & acting the way he is. your ex gf also was not a good person by being so mean to you & treating you this way. so you should just get them out of your life. it is hard, i know that. it really takes a strong person to be able to do some thing like that, but really, its for your own good. its ok to talk about your feelings too, getting them out is better than holding them in. maybe if you really need help with this, or just some one to talk to about your feelings, you could talk to a therapist, or a school counsler. i only suggest that you don't make things worse between you & austin because you know that nothing good can come from that.

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