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I'm sure some of you have already read many of my posts and this will be one of the last. I've explained to you my relationship and it's ups and downs and fall outs...don't get me wrong there were good times as well. After breaking up i have not seen my ex in months, but i told her i wanted her frendship. It's hard without her, but i thought friendship would keep her in my life in some form. It started out slow then she began to call me like every other day and thats where it got hard for me because i didn't know how to take it. I don't even talk to my homies as often, so how could i with my ex without wanting more. After i saw she wasn't interested in anything more than conversation, i didn't want to be called this often. I approached her with how i felt one day and we got into an argument. She said i don't have to call you", i don't have to see you cause we're just friends...., so the person who's been calling me off the hook says they don't have to call me and the friendship line was just thrown back in my face, don't get me wrong people i agree with what she is saying, but if this is the case stop calling me so damn much as well...it was like you got all the time in the world to call and talk to me, but you can't see me.....it almost seemed to me as though she was making sure that i wasn't with anybody either.....am i thinking totally wrong or could i be hurting someone who doesn't know how to express how they feel to me?

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my situation is almost the same as yours. she broke up with me got a new bf then one day called me crying. she started talking to me twice a week then more often to the point where its almost everyday. we have plans to get back together and she wants to to with me, but its too soon for both of us yet her calling me everyday makes me fell worst. at least for the 2 months we didnt speak i had no hope now that i have hope i miss her so much and i get depressed if she doesnt keep calling me. i just think to be strong and after xmas in mid jan im going to tell her to make her decision be with me or dont call. i guess my point is be strong and put your foot down when needed. im going through some emotional ups and downs since june its hard but at some point it all has to come to and end and you have to end it and not let somone play with you.

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I would try to stay away from ultimatums. Try to understand that they may not know exactly how they feel about things either. If you do need this person to back off and give you some more space, try to do it in a way that doesn't create more conflict. Just simply tell them how you feel and that you'd like to be given more space and that it doesn't mean that you aren't interested in their friendship. Don't bring up the past, just say you are uncomfortable with the amount of contact and that you'd like them to cut back how much they contact you.

 

Best Wishes,

bdub

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