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A game of non verbal communication...


Nwadour
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Here I am again

 

After long stress and not being able to continue maintaining my

ideals (... see [link removed ) I decided to let myself go for a while

and do things casually without following any "ideal" at all, so that I

could also maybe regain a bit of psychological freedom etc. =)

 

Well... I am currently "in crush" with a girl who is three years younger

than me... but let me tell you the story first =) .

 

Everything started in June, when I was going around with my friends

and I saw a girl from my school in a music-shop. Just to be a gentleman and just because she was of my school I greeted her without any other spark enlightening in my emotions (infact in that period I was totally in love with another girl... see some of my previous posts and you'll understand). The same day, a few hours later I noticed that this girl and some friends of hers were following me. But I did as if I didn't see them.

 

Two days later we had our school's summer-concert (I'm in the choir) and she greeted me for the second time (at school, which to me seemed already a bit 'much' since I'm used to greet people I know only by sight when I meet them OUT of school).

During the performance of the choir my eyes were obviously glued on the girl I liked those days but I also noticed sometimes how this younger girl and her friends sitting in the second row of the audience were looking at me and talking about me.

I thought it was simply my imagination so I didn't pay much attention... but then, after the choir performance, I went to sit at the fourth row here some of my friends were sitting, when I clearly noticed that those girls in front of me were looking back with the tail of their eyes, and one of them tapped THE girl showing me. At that point I got a bit irritated.

Infact, a few minutes later, when I was getting ready to perform again behind the stage, I "caught them" looking at me and to their surprise looked at them with a quite strict glance.

 

For two weeks I didn't notice anything except for once, when I was greeting and hugging the girl I loved at that time. In that moment THAT girl was passing by with her friends and I recognized a quite disappointed look in her head which she turned to look at me more clearly.

 

Then, the last school day, while I was depressed (about the girl I liked at that time...) and waiting in front of the entrance with some of my friends, the girl I am talking about came to me, looked at me (I was still somewhere else in my thoughts), told me me, I'm wet...", kissed me at both cheeks, "Happy holidays!" and went away.

I still remember how uncaring I was in that moment but that day itself one of my friends who was present while this happened talked to me about it (which, to his opinion was quite unusual, especially the fact that a girl who has greeted you 2-3 times comes and tells you those words and kissed me at the cheeks) and made me think a little about her.

 

At that period (during first days of holidays) I told to myself that maybe she just did it for fun and maybe she would forget me after the holidays...

and anyway she was three years younger than me... and I was already occupied with another girl.

 

After the holidays

After various... events... I came to the conclusion that the other girl who I liked so much at that period was litterally a... (not so nice word) and that I anyway didn't have any chances with her.

Lot of time passed until now, and I also had lots of changes in my character traits.

 

Then, one day when I go to choir practice, I see that that girl who I met in the music-shop last June has also joined the choir with two of her friends who were there that day in the summer concert.

I initially saw a parallelism (but maybe I exaggerated): I can remember that I myself had joined the choir to get more in contact with that girl I loved long time ago. But then maybe I was just fantasyzing.

 

Sometimes she talks with me. But she doesn't show very often what we could call "positive signs in non-verbal communication". Sometimes she greets me, but we actually never talk anything serious.

It's always her who tries to talk about something but I am not sure whether that means something important.

 

The problem is now I start feeling a crush for her since this Saturday, probably after having looked at her for a long time during a trip of the choir group.... and well, I am interested in her, having also read some things she had written about her self in short bios.

She seems to be a person like me, very good at school, interested in success, but she also seems very much open than me. So I suppose (I suppose!!) that I could exclude the fact that she's a bit shy towards me... who knows.

Well, I am truly interested in her anyway, and I hope that I didn't loose an(other) opportunity last June...

 

Thanks and bye

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Well, you certainly did not lose an opportunity last June, but you may have lost one recently or, more likely, be in danger of losing one if you do not act soon. When she greeted you that way before the holiday, she was telling you that she liked you, as she has a number of times before. YOu recognize these signs or you would not mention them. You did not respond with any expression that you liked her. Of course, she is not going be so open to you anymore, in essense you rejected her. All is not lost, make an easy move and reel her in. An easy move, first, smile at her when next you see her, then smile at her and approach her to compliment her on something she is wearing, make sure you are honest. Is she reacting postively, if so keep going, because she is tellign you she is interested.

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Thanks Beec

 

Another thing: I now see her starting also to talk with my friends.

But it doesn't seem that she wants to get my attention anymore

(that's what I think).

What I'm saying is... I think that even if I'd smile etc.

she would NOW anyway reject me since she maybe also know a

bit more about me through friends, rumors, and other things

she has already seen in my character that maybe she doesn't like

quickly... couldn't that be a sort of obstacle for her to be "open"

again or even for me to approach her again?

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It's possible that she has no interest whatsoever, and it is also possible she is playing you like she is a master. Now that she is not showing interest, after she did, she has you with HER on your mind. Now you could ask your friends to ask her friends, but that is the worm way of doing things. Or, you could just go up and say "I want you Babe," but that is really playing too big a move. The only way to know is to make some move on her and see how she reacts. A small move reacted to positively should be followed by another small move, which should be followed by a request for a date or something if the second small move gets a positive reaction. Paying her a compliment is the easiest no sweat move there is. And if there is something wrong with your character, fix it and tell her you will fix it.

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If you see anything in her behaviours that would show her interest, do the same and watch how she responds. Try talking more to her like she is trying to do with you. If she asks you more personal questions do the same. If what she is doing is out of interest she will interprete it as interest when you do the same things. If it is just friendly (looks more as interest) she will think, of you doing the same, only as being friendly but you will have opened the door. What happened summer is unimportant, might be even to your advantage.

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Something nice happened...

 

Last Friday, while I and my friends were walking to the bus stop,

we saw her (let me call her Arwen) and a friend of hers waiting

there, and my friends left me alone.

I went and started talking to her for 45 minutes (thanks bus delay...!!)

and she talked really a lot, asking me a lot, etc.

More than how much I and the other girl who was the protagonist

of my life in the past 12 months ever talked in 3 months.

She likes to talk a lot about school, teachers, marks, etc., a field in which

I, too, am quite a good conversator (if you've read some previous

posts of mine you'll understand).

Quite a few times she mentioned that she, too, had some things in

common with me.

 

I now and then tried to "flirt" with her with my eyes but didn't receive

nothing back... yes. Maybe I'm too used to the - I'm sorry to use the

word - "slutty" smiles of the girl I liked before and that's why I'm

expecting things to go "faster" also with Arwen.

But the only thing I notice in Arwen sometimes is that she often

glances somewhere else, smiling to the distance... and thinking.

And maybe that means she's in love with someone [else!].

 

I already like her even more than what I imagined once...

But now school started again... and today (the irony of life) the whole

time during interval I was talking with her brother ^___^'''

who is also a quite good friend of mine.

 

I already composed a song dedicated to Arwen (both text & music)

but I don't know how to give her or whether it would be an idiocy

to just tell her that I like her.. I don't know whether on the one hand

I'm too late or on the other hand I'm too quick...

 

^___^

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Cool, you wrote music dedicated to her? What kind of music is it(for guitar, bass, piano, etc.)? Cause that would be cool if you did something, like whipped out your guitar and played the song for her in person one day. Then again, that sounds pretty daring . Most of the time though, girls find it very nice when a guy does something original like that. Eventually, you should do something with the music, because you will regret it, and the music will end up gathering dust in the corner of your room, doing nothing. Hope things work out for the best for ya.

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Music for an orchestra. For now I just have it as a MIDI file on the computer. ^__^

 

Today we had choir practice...

 

I'm singin in the tenor, and she's soprano.

I sometimes look at her. Then... when our eyes meet, I wave the hand at her... and she waves back.

 

Then she continually looks at me for a while. I also "see" where she looks with the tail of my eyes. But then suddenly...

 

suddenly she hides away, so that I cannot see her.. and from her hidden place she continues to look at me.

 

Maybe she's scared of me... maybe she feels pity for me...

 

so... maybe I should let it be... (whispering words of wisdom... let it be!)

 

 

 

Or maybe not?

 

I don't know ^^

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