Why do girls like guys who treat them like crap?

[kantore]

I have noticed lately that nice guys really do finish last. I was curious as to why girls like to be treated like shit. I mean girls tell me often that I am attractive, but I feel as if they loose interest when they see that I am a nice guy. I am only nice because that is just the way I am, and certain potential partners have lost interest because I was nice and did not want to hurt them. I mean I could have easily told them what they wanted to hear, and got what I wanted sexually out of them, but because I cared I did not. Needless to say that they did not stick around. So am I too assume that I should be a real jerk, and say whatever I need to say to get them into bed. Cause it is really starting to seem to me, that girls truly do like the jerks.

 

Any thoughts please.

[Beec]

Women don't want jerks, but they also want to be treated like women by their men. You are supposed to be attracted to them and want then in an animal way. By jerks I assume you mean players, who are out to have their way with the women you are talking about. These jerks are probably sending the women signs that they want them in a physical way and are not afraid to get up and do something about it. Nice guys are often too afraid to make a move in that direction. If you want a woman, you need to let her know, but you don't need to be a jerk. However, if you were a woman and none of the nice guys let you know that you were desirable, so that they would WANT you, then you would be responding to the jerks that did give you that message.

[Tonk]

IMO women do not want players\jerks but some are easily led by them to believe things which arent true. Confidence, power, etc... are powerful aphrodisiacs and some women cant resist them. I guess its the same as some men cant resist a beautiful young women despite the risks etc...

 

As for nice guys finishing last, dont agree!!!. People that want to finish last finish last!!!. Being nice doesnt stop you going out and getting what you want out of life although you may have to work harder than a player\jerk.

[sisterlynch]

I used to believe the idea that nice guys finish last. But only if they let bad things happen to them and never stick up for themselves, only then do they finish last. This much is true.

 

As for women going for guys who treat them like jerks, this I don't really see. I see some ladies who like to go for unavailable men because they think that most men are after them, so they make consequences for you if you let them.

 

What I think that you may be referring to is a jealousy game or a sexual bullying, where they only want you if you don't want them, as soon as you become attached to them, they don't like you anymore. This I see in men as well as women.

[HippoXNinja]

Wasup Kantrone. Man I SO agree with you, that shiot is true! There's a good amount of girls that do fall for jerks. But its just cuz of the whole "Bad Boy" thing. Confidence and power, so true, but so misguided. I cannot stand those guys that walk around and try to act all hard and S**T. They're so fake. Being "the nice guy" has its draw backs, but I'll be damned if I become a jerk. NEver Change, we're a rare breed.

[OmegaMan]

This has been discussed many, many times. If you want more information, you might want to use the search function and type nice guy. Some interesting points were brought.

 

CHEEEERRRS!

 

O.Man

[sisterlynch]

Nice guys need to put limits on others and not worry so much about hurting people's feelings sometimes, the truth hurts of course; but if it really is the truth then it needs to be stated.

[vfunkera]

i was thinking about this today, and came up with an answer which i think is the truth.

 

You take any institution you are in. be it work or school. look at the jerks, or the confident guys. the ones that act hard or make an impression. the ones that look out for number one and dont seem to fear anything. whether they put it on or not, they always seem to be the center of attention. i would say that if we had the choice of 'being friends' with them or 'not being friends' with them, we would undoubtedly pick the former, because these kind of people attract crowds. they show confidence and thats why they attract people to them. as guys we would like to be their friends. as girls they would probably like them. nice guys dont make this impression. if they have any hopes of catching a girls attention, its probably through their looks. bottem line is get an attitude! if you cant beat them join them. if your a nice guy with this twist of having confidence then you will go further then most.

 

another way of looking at it. imagine all girls (and the majority are) insecure and on a low level of confidence. you have to walk around and show that no one is your standard in that room. if you meet someone that insn't your standard and doesnt really interest you, then you wont really care what they think will you? you can be a jerk and not really care of their opinion, right? have this state of mind everywhere you go. you have to make them believe that they are not on your standard. your a celebrity! thereforeeee they would be lucky to even have a chance to go out with you. be secure infront of the insecure and you will have complete control. secure people and secure girls (those with really good looks) are a bit more challenging, but maintain your confidence and disinterest and you can get them as well. people always want what they cant have.

 

change is sometimes for the best. stay a nice guy if you want, but the only common denominator is you. why stay so low when you can be so high? again you dont have to change. be a nice guy, but have that twist of confidence and security.

 

good luck 8)

[Derek]

It is an interesting question that I don't have an answer to either.

 

The "nice guy" vs bad boy.

 

There is a few things to think about though:

 

- Often the ladies date the "bad boy" and marry the "nice guy" after they've been burned by the "bad boy" too many times. So you may need to wait for a women that matures through that phase relatively intact and realizes what is right under her nose.

 

- Women love projects. They especially love to make men as their projects to makeover. Especially "bad boys". But of course usually people don't fundamentally change unless they want to, so the "bad boy" project is soon a failure.

 

- Both sexes love confidence. "Bad boys" have lots of fake confidence.

Try being a confident "nice guy" with many interests and opinions of your own. Experience life fully and confidence will come by experience. I disagree that you have to fall to the level of jerks to attract women.

 

I would content that the kind of women that you would attract by being a jerk would not be compatible for you in the end anyway. When the "bad boy" has got the pretty girl's attention, have you ever considered talking to her shy friend that's being ignored too? You never know what you'll find.