never thought about ending my life untill today

[thatboy_e]

its only been two weeks since my girlfriend broke up with me. i found out that she has been sleeping with some other guy already. the thought of that destroys my soul. her sister called her one morning and woke her up. she said that she heard a guy in the backround talking, but shut up really quickly. when my ex and her sister hung up, my ex did not completely hang up. her sister listened for awhile and actually heard them in the process of sleeping together. when i heard this i broke down into tears and could not bear the pain. how could this girl that i love so much do this in only two weeks of being apart. we were together for 2 and a half years. i never thought in a million years that she would do something like this and now the thoughts of them two being together kills me. i desperately need some sort of advice on how to handle this. i thought i was getting a little better, but after hearing this makes me feel worse then first breaking up.

[enadevoli]

why exactly is her sister telling you this any way? you don't need to hear about this & its really none of your business or her sister's. its not going to help you get over your ex if her sister keeps telling you stories about her. i wouldn't go & assume right now that she is sleeping with some body else either. her sister could have easily misheard what was going on. i would say to stop contact with her sister for awhile right now. its for your own good. go out & do stuff to keep your mind busy becasuse you need to keep your mind off of your ex. it might take you awhile to get over her & thats only normal. it also helps to write in a journal & if you need to talk to some one, then talk to some one.

[UKGirl]

You don't think so now but you really will get over it, I promise. I'm guessing you're fairly young? There will be plenty more girls, and ones that won't treat you so badly.

Please don't think of doing anything silly, talk to someone sympathetic about your feelings and I guarantee that with time you'll feel a lot better, try and distract yourself and go out with friends as much as you can....

[holeinmysoul33]

I agree with the first post. People can be suprisingly manipulative and coniving when they have a motive. So why is her sister telling you this? It could be the truth and she just thought you should know, which is a bad call on her part. More than likely this is some plan contrived to make you feel worse, to get you to stop calling and stop caring. If I were you, I'd take the hint, whether it's truth or fiction that she's sleeping with someone else, that she at least wants you to think she is, and move on with your life. It's easy for the ones we love the most to hurt us more than we can imagine. So do things that you never got to do while with her because she took up so much of your time, think about all the reasons why you broke up and try to understand that it is a good thing. All this hurts alot, but you will get over it. And keeping in touch with her only makes things worse, so stop calling her (if you are) or asking about her. And keep your chin up, cause things will look up soon.

[Tonk]

Sometimes when we first break up we need to shut our exes out of our lifes and thoughts. Of course it hurts to know she is seeing someone else as you care and love her. What you need to try to do is live your life and view your realtionship as the pasts. I know it really hurts but the only way to move on is to get on with your own life. Tell her sister you dont want to know about how she is etc or avoid her sister you are only hurting yourself by going through this. It is irrelevant at this point you have broken up and you need to see this a final thing for the moment.

 

Ok so reflect on where you are and were you want to go. You are obviously feeling hurt and confused so you need to change things so you dont. Look to the future she may have a part in it or may not. There will be someone that is right for you but you need to right for yourself first this only comes from rebuilding. Key points.

 

1. Health get out there and do some exercise it not only release the tension but keeps you in shape and feeling good

2. Read and use your mind on things which dont involve relationships.

3. Take care of yourself sleep, good diet and doing things you want to.

 

Ok so the tips above may seem basic and a bit silly but IMO they work healing comes from within.

 

Take care

[thatboy_e]

i haven't called her at all in more than 2 weeks and that is the hardest thing i ever had to do. i was very close to her sister so she told me what she heard. i didn't ask, but she just brought it up when i was talking to her. i just don't understand that this woman who i thought loved me so much and wanted to marry me in the near future would do this. and so soon! how can you just jump into bed with someone right after a two and a half year relationship? i haven't contacted her, and refuse to ever again. i am afraid that i will find something else out that will hurt me even more.

[Tonk]

Hey Thatboy_e,

 

When I split up with my ex (8 year realtionship) last year, I was very close to all her family I talked to her sisters and mother and father and they tried to be there for me. They were ahuge part of my life and I treated them as my own family. I came to the conclusion it couldnt work (this was for me others are different) as it kept reminding me of the past and these people at the time were my past. They may be in my future at some point but they are no longer in my life in the same way.

 

As for feeling someone will hurt you even more. I really feel for you, you are in a lot of pain and feel rejected. The pain will get less and you will trust again. You do not know the reasons etc of this other guy and your ex she may be feeling lonely and is rebounding but really it is not relevant!!! she is no longer your partner. The only thing that is relevant at the moment is you!!! look after yourself you will pull through and feel better with time. This can vary with different people but I honestly think we can change the time by taking positive actions to heal.

 

All the best Tonk