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hi there first of all sorry for my bad English

 

i was with a girl for over a year...during that time we had problems on a regularly basis she is really jealous person and we always had fights about my habits going out with my friends and clubbing, because she is under age. The whole year wasn't so great. Some times we really had fun and enjoyed being together. She was my first true love and I was her first true love, too. I was her first one that she hat sexual contact with.

 

During the last summer I just couldn't handle her jealousy anymore. I tolled her that I need my time and space and that I can't handle the relationship problems any more. She cried for a long time and tried to get me back but I didn't want to.

 

After a week or so we finally got back together and talked about the relationship and the problems and we thought that we will be able to solve them. But with the time the same problems accrued again and again. Two months ago I had the same feeling that I can't handle it anymore and that I want to break up with her. I talked to her and to her parents and she cried for at least a week and tried to get me back but now this time her parents forbid her to stay in touch with me. After that time she was going out with her friends and they also tried to pull her away from me. We were in touch and we want to try it again. We couldn't spend the new year together and after the new year a had a feeling that her feelings got colder, too. Few days after the new years eve we talked to each other and she tolled me that she can't handle the pressure from her parents any more and we have to break up. I had the feeling that she had a new guy and that her parents where only an excuse for that. After a while she called me and tolled me that she did a mistake and that she started a new relationship with another guy. She also tolled me that she is not happy with that step and I had a feeling that she would like to get back to me. We saw each other few times and had again body contact with each other. After that I tolled her that I don't want to be between her and the new guy. Few days later I emailed her and tolled her that we can't say in touch as long as she has a boyfriend. I tolled her not to call me anymore and not to email me. She tolled me that she can't or doesn't want to break up with the new guy but she still loves me more than him. Still 2 days later she called me again just to see how I am and tolled me that she has problems with the new guy. I tolled her that she shouldn't call me as long as she is with a guy in a relationship. She tolled me that I am going to see this weekend it is going to be a good boom between her and the new guy and that I shouldn't act like that and she was really mad at me and didn't want to talk to me anymore that night. But after that I saw her with the new guy in a bar on Friday and Saturday. On Friday I said hi to her but o Saturday I didn't pay any attention to her. She still didn't call me or contact me. Now I feel really bad and don't know what do to. I know that I can't / don't want to contact her again but I wish she would contact me after a while. Do you think she is going to try to contact me after a while, because people say first true love you can't forget so easily? I don't know since that last fight on the phone (5 days ago) she didn't call me or anything like that. I don't know if she still loves me or not. I mean I know if we would get back together once again it wouldn't work out but still I really love her. I don't understand how she could start a new relationship only few days after we broke up. Is it real love between her and the new guy or is it just to make me jealous I don't know.

 

Thanks for your time and advice.

 

Stillthere

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Hi,

 

The issue here is not wether she is or is not happy with her new guy. The issue here seems to be that you were not ready yet to let her go, which is very understandable. It is always very hard to end something with someone that you have been so involved in.

 

The good news is, that time will heal all wounds and I really think you should focus on that. Let the wound heal and stop contact her. You pointed out that a relationship between the two of you won't work out, even if you'd tried again.

 

I hope you have a good friend you completely trust and you can tell your story to. That would really benefit and help you. Talk to your friend about it.

 

I hope this was of help. Good luck!

 

~ SwingFox ~

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first of all thanks for your help swingfox..

 

but the problem is that we see each other at least once a week in bars or on the street. my friends live in the same building. the fact is that my head knows that we would never be able to have a normal rs but my heart cant' let it go like that.... and the other question is ok if she really loved me so much and cried so many nights....how could she find a new boy just like that a week after or so...that hurts to at some point

 

thanks again

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Hi,

 

As for the second part, I can tell you that some people just can't be alone. Who says that she is happy now? May be the relationship she has now is just a rebound relationship or one to make you jealous.

 

I would advice you, though, to focus on what hurt you. I am sure it's somewhat difficult not having closure, without her talking to you, but it's not worth your time to dwell over her having a b/f again. Try to focus on the more positive things in life.

 

I hope this helped you somewhat better... good luck

 

~ SwingFox ~

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hello folks,

 

Maybe some of you know my story already and red it few weeks ago. I was in a relationship with a girl for a year and 2 months but we broke up… it just didn't work out.. After a week or two she tolled me that she is dating somebody else but she isn't happy with him and that she still loves me more…

 

After couple of days I email her and tolled her not to contact me as long as she is in a relationship with someone….she was pretty arrogant on the phone and she said to me ok that's fine and hung up on me…

 

After two weeks passed by (and I didn't contact her during those two weeks) she called me one day to tell me how she misses me and that she would like to get back and start all over…

 

After few days we met again and well we didn't talk to each other we had se*. The problem is that we miss(ed) each other so much and when we see each other we just play with each other and kiss each other and don't even think about talking because we miss each other so much..

 

After that night we decided to get back to each other and she tolled me that she would break up with that guy. She went out with him a day after and called me around 2am…she was crying and said she broke up with him but it hurts her so much and that she will need time to go over it… I tolled her that I'll be there for her I'll help her to go over it and also that we should change some stuff in our relationship because that "past" one didn't work out…

 

Now three days later I found out that she email him again and…she asked him how he is and nothing much more…

 

I asked her after that if she is still in touch with him..she tolled me no not on the phone I asked her what about other media like email etc…she tolled me yes I emailed him, because she feels bad for him…I tolled her that she can't stay in touch with him, because of our relationship…she tolled me that she felt bad for him and that she is not going to stay in touch with him.

 

My problem is now just the trust and I mean she started to date him a week after we broke up… how can I be sure that she is not going to go back and forth it is just hard to trust…what I am doing now is just trying to stay cool (like other people wrote it) and letting her to do more steps than I do. It is going to take me a while to trust her…I am afraid it is going to be a hell 'till I go over it.

 

Life could be so simple…so why don't we make it hard.

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Hi,

 

I thought to put a new point of view in my subject for you. I hope you will look at life that way.

 

As for giving you a few tips. I would talk to your lady. Tell her that you love her so much and what she means to you. Then I would ask her to do a few things for you. Explain to her how her contacting this other guy makes you feel. I suggest you explain to her that you understand she feels bad over things. It's not really relevant wether she stays in contact with him (OVER E-MAIL ONLY!!), because the next thing you could explain her, that you would like to be reassured and pampered once a while, so that your confidence and trust in her is being built up faster and stronger.

 

I think she might understand this and I think this will both benefit you

 

Good luck!!!

 

~ SwingFox ~

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yea my friend i have to explain it to her...i think it doesn't make sense to tell her "you may not talk to him" or such things...putting presure doesn't bring anything...i toled her it is better for both of us..so i'll se what is gong to happen in the next couple of days....maybe she is going to cool off..

 

thanks again

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