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Is it too soon? Could this be it? How do I know?


ameliamolly
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I had gotten out of a 2.5 yr turbulent relationship in July. I moved to a new house and started a new life. I was not intending to date for a while, however at a weekend getaway in August with a group of friends I met a really nice nice guy and we immediately hit it off. The conversation was uplifting and intelligent-open and heartfelt. After the weekend he called and we went out for a bite to eat and had a wonderful time. In the beginning we saw each other 1-2x per week and I was dating other guys here and there. Since then he and I have been seeing more of each other over the last 2 months, we have turned into a couple. I stopped dating the others because I have no interest in anyone else. We are connected on so many levels and I really enjoy spending time with him. It's very obvious that we are falling in love with each other. It just feels so right. Did I make a mistake by not giving myself more time in between relationships? For once in my life I have followed my heart instead of listening to everyone around me. This new relationship is so healthy for me - unlike the past relationships I have had. I couldn't resist giving it a chance to see where it would go and so far, I am very happy with the outcome. We have been seeing each other for 4 months and I can't remember ever being this happy with anyone. He is truly the "icing" on my cake (my life). I can really see me spending the rest of my life with him, and I have never felt that way about anyone. When is the right amount of time for 2 people to tell each other that they love each other? I keep thinking it in my, but I am afraid it's too soon to tell him.

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Hello there,

 

I understand you left an unhealthy relationship mid-summer and now have been dating a very nice man for two months. I also understand you feel like he may be the one, but are unsure if it's too soon to tell him how strong your feelings are.

 

I am somewhat in the same situation you are in regards to not giving myself much time inbetween a relationship before jumping into a new one. I, too, am in a relationship that is much healthier than most I have been in before. And, I also have been feeling stronger and stronger for the guy I am with, however in my case have decided to abstain from those three little words until I have a better understanding of my feelings.

 

Many people are going to tell you that it is too soon, that you are in the "honeymoon" stage of your relationship, and that you should wait until you are more sure. While their advice is sound and true in many ways, you have to realize that you must follow your own heart. If your heart is telling you to let him know that you love him, then tell him. The worst thing in the world is to feel regret, and it is my feeling that if you love someone, you should tell them. Society is going to try to dictate to you what is "right" or "wrong" in a relationship, you've already mentioned one of it's views on time inbetween relationships, but you can't and shouldn't live your life solely by what society says.

 

My advice is, as I said before, to follow your heart and see where it leads you. He may be going through the same delimna, but you won't know until you talk to him about how you feel, and learn if he feels the same.

 

Best wishes!

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Actually, I have been seeing this guy for the past 4 months, not 2. But it's gotten much more serious over the last 2 months. I am going to hold off on the three little words for right now and see how things play out between us. I definitely feel very strongly for him, and I have told him that. He has also verbalized that he feels very strongly for me, cares about me, sees a future for us...etc. So I think he does love me, but at the same time I think really deep love is something built over a period of time through shared experiences together. I am very hopeful for a future with him, however, I don't want to rush anything. This relationship is very important to me, and I don't want to do anything to ruin it by rushing too much, too soon.

 

As for the time off between relationships...I did a lot of thinking about this. I was basically ready to move on many months before my x-bf and I had separated. We had been living separate lives under one roof. So in a sense I had already gone through the emotions of breaking up previous to actually moving away from him. It had been a rough 2.5 years with him and I was ready for a fresh start once I was able to get away from him.

 

Since the new guy treats me so well and we have such a strong connection, there was no way I was going to let him pass me by because of what people think I should or shouldn't do. Our relationship is so healthy and I am very thankful for that.

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