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Does sex change everything


confused33
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I have been dating this guy for around 2 months. I really dont want anything to change with him. I care about him and he is a really great guy. I see this relationship lasting a while. Although I have never jumped into sex this early. Last night was the first time with him and I felt really comfortable. I am just afraid this will change things. I have thought to myself that maybe it only changes if you let it change. In most relationships people say that it changes because thats all the relationship focuses on. So if you focus on more than that in a relationship then with it change that much.

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I would have to say for most people, yes, it DOES change the tenor of the relationship. Not necessarily because it becomes the focus of the relationship, but because it is, to most people, a much deeper level of intimacy and trust, and not to be taken lightly. It often implies a much deeper committment, emotions tend to deepen, it's no longer casual in any way. And it's absolutely essential, at least I believe it is, to be sure you're BOTH on the same level of understanding as far as your intentions for the relationship, your committment to each other, and your feelings for the other person are concerned. If you're not - one person is going to have differing expectations than the other - and will end up getting hurt. Put plainly, if this is a bigger step for one person than the other, and that's not clear from the outset, one party will inadvertently be leading the other to believe their feelings and intentions run just as deep. And the person for whom this is the bigger step of sharing and intimacy will be very hurt and disappointed when they find they've shared that with someone for whom it didn't mean the same thing.

 

Just be very careful with both your own feelings and your bf's and make sure you have a firm understanding between you to avoid hurting each other later on.

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It is hard to explain, but things will be totally different. It will seem like that is all that you two do and have nothing else in common, but you need to push through that -- it is really a chemical reaction to the intense emotions that you are probably feeling right now. It is the same for everyone!! Just give it a little more time until you are sure of what you are doing!

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