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Hi everyone,

I wrote about my situation before and I got good advice, but the problem keeps on coming back. Well here it gose. My ex-boyfriend lives in San Jose, I live in L.A. we've been together for six years for the past three years he's been living in San Jose. And just this year he's been acting strange. And it came to find out that he was seeing another girl. I was so devistated. It took me a while and good advice to let go but when I would always start moving on he would come back to me. Two months ago we got back together but he would get his adittudes so we could start an argument. Last week we had a big argument and he broke up with me.

I didn't want to talk to him after that but I couldn't help it and when he came to L.A for the holiday I had a talk with him and I told him that if he didn't want to be with me I understand, that I'll be his friend because it's to hard to keep him out of my life. That's when he came clean to me and he told me that the reason he was acting the way was because he started having that temptation to see that other girl again, and when he broke up with me he started seeing her again. But when he see's me he dosen't even think about her. Then he told me that he has the same amount of fun with the both of us. I got so upset but didn't show him that I was sad I was acting like if I didn't care but inside it was killing me. He told me to give him some time. I told him that I was tired of that. I told him that I can not give him anymore time.

Oh and I didn't get to tell you this the last time I wrote. He is going to have to be on house arrest for 8 months and he wanted me to move in with him. I told him that I couldn't my parents are old fashion and that they want me to leave out the house married. I don't want to disapoint them for him. He said that he doesn't want to get married, so I said sorry I can't move in with you. So I think by him not being able to come to L.A. that girl has first priority. I don't want to lose him. He told me to just give him a few days to see what's going to happen with his case and he'll chose then. That's when your advice comes in what should I do????? I will die if he tells me that he rather be with that other girl. And if he choses me I will not stop thinking if he will breake up with me cause he misses that other girl. Please help me out I love him so much. And his family is also on my side. And I love them to death too.

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Not to sound pessimistic about your situation, but Girl - your boy sounds like a big ZERO.


Maybe you should think about WHY you love him so much? Is it because you can't truly have him? We, as humans (and women, especially) seem to always desire what we can't have...and we end up chasing a dream that ends up a nightmare.


Think about it: do you really want someone who is always going to treat you as second best? or do you want someone who is going to make you feel like you are truly loved and desired?


This guy is obviously playing games with you, and I think you are simply INFATUATED by him and the fact that he is out of reach. Try to sit back and evaluate the situation:


1) He is going to be on house arrest (*Can he provide for himself? No.)

2) He mistreats you emotionally (*who's to say it won't become physical?)

3) He is TOTALLY playing you for a fool, because he knows he has you


I say, play into his game (*If you want him that bad) by simply ignoring him, and telling him that you've moved on and found someone new. If he really wants you and cares - it will tear him up to the point where he's ready to make change. If he doesn't care, at least you know now and can move on in life.


Believe me girl, the world is a big, beautiful place - you are obviously young (*still live with parents*). Why don't you take a trip somewhere you've never been? Expand your wold - it's alot bigger than California my dear....and believe me there ARE good men out there, you just have to learn to be a little bit more picky....don't ever lower your standards just to be loved....because in the end -


It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved before.

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