Jump to content

Want her back but unsure what to do????


Recommended Posts

Hi all.


Been with my girlfriend for just over 2 yrs. Everything was great until a couple of weeks ago, when after waking up together one morning she decided that she needed a break. As the day went on it went from a brief time out to a complete split. To say I was heartbroken doesn't even come close.


I have to admit I have not been perfect, but I have never argued, or assaulted her in any way, physically or mentally, and I have never been dis-loyal in any form. I have been giving 100+% to her and up until the split she was too. Never do enough for her.


I have spoken to and talked to her quite a few times and each time she seems to be holding back her feelings for me. When asked about the reasons she said that "the relationship got boring". I can't understand this seeing that we were always going out to the pub, movies, meals, bowling, etc. I can see and feel that her feelings and love are still there, just that's she's locking them away.


Never have I put my foot down and stopped her doing anything. I understand about control and forcing someone to do something, which is why I have never tried to control, just support where needed.


She is only 18, and I understand that it is the time in her life that she wants to go off and do things.


She is now with a guy that is the complete opposite to me in looks and style. I know the quailties I have and doubt as to whether he has them. I'm kind, caring, thoughtful, understanding, too nice to everyone as I get told.


Am I wrong for keeping in touch? Will she come back? How can I get her back? Is this break for good?


Any advice would be appreciated.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

hi exodus, ive just been through a similar situation and all i can tell you is to give her and yourself time.


my ex gf was 23 and im 27 when we split at the end of august after 3years 4 months, she gave me the we need a break thing then told me that she didnt think she could (read would lol) be faithful to me so we split. plus she had been unfaithful to me on a few occasions ie kissing other men whilst out with girlfriends, one of which was the voice in her ear to split with me, but thats another story.


she said the same things as ur ex mate and to be honest u and i are alike in qualities and the things we did for our ex's. we are nice dependable guys, our ex's dont want that right now they will want that a few years down the line, but first they wanna have a bit of fun date other ppl and experience life.


So should we!! ok it hurt like crazy for the first 6 weeks but then you get your head together and start doin stuff, ive lost a stone and a half since we split and i feel great and the ladies where i work (a hospital ) have all noticed.


throw yourself into work and gym and other activities for a while, be you, find yourself. make you a better person.


you have taken a big step by posting on this site, its great, just right really angry posts and put them up here instead of sending them to your ex.


from what i have learned from all these good ppl on here, is that you dont tryand persuade your ex to come back, they just move further away.


so cut your loses, remember the happy and not the sad but look forward to the future.


leave her be for a while cuz you both need space and time to sort yourselves out, cut your contact and move forward.


alot of ppl on here have a lot of good advice, read it and use it to suit you.


keep posting mate



Link to comment
Share on other sites

Cheers for that mate.


She has never been unfaithful to me but I mainly think it is down to her age and in-experience. But one other problem I have is that she is tending to listen to other people.


This really started after she had gone out with some "ex" friends of mine, when she came back she was slighly different. I eventually found out that the had been telling her to go live her life and not be tied down.


Anyway, all she does now it come home from work, go to the local pub and stay up late smoking pot with them. I can see that they are using her and her place to get what they want.


Deep down she is more mature than her age. Even her mum has told her that she has made a big mistake with me.


I have chilled off and now just keep a watchful eye on her, but at a distance. It hurts but i am sitting back and hoping. Still enjoying myself though.


Chat to me if you like via mail : email removed


Thanks again.


Any more advice would be still appreciated.



Link to comment
Share on other sites

hi there, i can totally relate to what your ex is doing now as it is very similar to what mine is doing too. although she doesn't smoke pot!


my ex moved out after a big argument with her mum and rented a flat, which i helped her set up this was very early after the break up mind.


she was like "i cant live on my own what am i going to do" and stuff like that. she moved back home and her folks are bailing her out.


well she now lives there full time, i dont know who she is seeing but her mum seems to think she's living on her own.


she is like your ex and listens to others and always wants to fit in with the crowd.


her close work colleague has just recently been left by her husband leaving her with 4 kids, about 3 months b4 our break up. she was constqantly talking to my ex and i do attribute some of it to her. my ex is now never seen in public unless she's with her or other work colleagues so i dont know what is goin on.


like you her parents think she has made a big mistake, but my own think its was a good thing.


take some time for yourself mate and start livin.



Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Create New...