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men can you tell me something?


sueblue
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I was in a long relationship over 8 years. I recently broke up with him. he kept threating our relationship so i left. i told him i hated him and slapped him i really regret that but at the time i did'nt feel like i had a choice. things escalated to that point . I have done everything for this person and could'nt stand being threatend everytime i wanted to talk about our relationship. I was no angel in this either but i really wanted to let him know that after 8 years i would like to know where things are going.he has'nt spoke to me since and i don't know what to think should i be glad or sad? do you think he hates me?

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im not a guy, but i'll still give you advice. well i do believe that slapping him & telling him you hated him was way too much. honestly, nothing leads up to that point. there's no excuse for acting that way. i think if he hasn't spoken to you since then, he probably is upset about that whole thing. i suggest apologizing for treating him that way because he might be upset with how you acted. im not saying to apologize & take him back though. if he treated you bad, or you weren't happy then its probably best that you got out of it, but i don't think that slapping him was the way to do it.

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Sorry but I believe it is too much in the sense that any physical stuff is too far. I was once in a relationship with a girl we had huge arguments (twas a very passionate relationship) alas she slapped me on 2 occasions. I warned her that if she slapped me again that I would either slap her back (which of course I couldnt do to a woman) or leave. I left. I guess on reflection I wasnt nice to her and probably deserved it but the line has to be drawn on physical violence and its such a unbalanced equation. Obviously a guy cant slap a girl so its not acceptable vice versa.

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Tonk,

Thanks for your honesty i appericate it. Tonk i can't say im sorry for what i did right now to him. He has been telling me im the problem. i know what i did was wrong and will have to live with it but i don't go around slapping anyone ever you have to believe me when i say i would never do that again but i have to think that it was my only way out otherwise it would have kept going the threats the verbal abuse the never letting me talk the hour long conversations that he would have with me i could'nt interrupt him because he would hang up on me so i would listen to him telling me everything i do wrong. i could'nt take it anymore i should have left the first time i felt that way but he kept telling me he wanted to be with me. believe me he told me not to ever raise a hand but i did it anyway. maybe i knew it would be over . I feel very bad for everything in this relationship and he finally got to me. i will write him a letter soon saying im sorry for what i did but im scared he will come back into my life and things will be the same.

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Sueblue,

 

To be quite honest I wouldnt write to him because of the comment you made about being scared he would come back into your life!. I dont think verbal abuse is fair or right anyway it shows a sign that the relationship isnt right in my opinion despite any signs to the oposite. It shows communication has broken down when this happens effectively the realtionship can not progress. I think it could be beneficial to write a letter but in it explain not only why you slapped him but how he made you feel etc... once you have written it then have a think if you want to send it and what are the pros and cons. I often think the letter isnt worth sending but it is important to get your feelings out

 

Take care.

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