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How come girls get dates so easily?


djbillblob
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women i know seem to get dates so easily, like when one ends they're in another after 2-3 weeks.

 

how often do the average women get asked out? once a week?

 

after a break up it seems the women is always first to get back on the horse.

 

someone said that after a break up if a women wants a date she just have to go to a club and someone will chat her up. For a guy he has to make the first move and after a break up his confidence is shot and women sense that and stay away. does anyone agree?

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I'm afraid I have to disagree, dj. Womens' confidence is no better and no worse than mens'. If a woman gets dumped, she feels it just as badly as a man does. The difference being, women are generally more emotional creatures than men are (feel free to disagree, this is just what I've heard from dozens of men I've known and been friends with) and are better able to handle an emotional upheaval like a breakup, whereas for a man, it seems to come as more of a surprise because they don't think with their emotions as much, so they may feel it harder when that breakup comes.

 

Also, women do NOT get dates that easily, any more easily than men do. It just depends on attraction and who's willing to approach who first. Back when I was single, I had just about NO dates. If I saw a guy I was interested in, I'd smile, possibly try to start a conversation to let him know I'd singled him out, and 1/2 the time I'd end up with another great "friend." Dating's not easy for EITHER sex, trust me.

 

It's not any one person's "job" to ask someone out. If you feel an attraction for someone, whether you're male or female, make your attraction known by some means. Yes, many people are shy. But you can't expect the person you're interested in to be able to somehow read your mind and just KNOW you're interested! Make a move, no matter how small it is, such as a smile or a wave or a "hi." It's not that difficult, it's not hard on the ego if it's not returned, and you can say you made the effort!

 

Mar

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someone said that after a break up if a women wants a date she just have to go to a club and someone will chat her up.

 

Possibly, it doesn't necessarily mean that it's the best option. Meeting guys at clubs will only often get a woman into more trouble, especially after a breakup. It's like digging a hole, and making everything worse.

 

You don't necessarily meet 'the one' at a club. Most of the time, guys who meet girls at clubs only want to get laid. They're not really after a commitment.

 

Unless if the girl just wants to get laid, then yes, she will meet a guy at a club. This I cannot understand, b/c you're only degrading yourself by doing this. It's a lack of respect for you own body.

 

For a guy he has to make the first move and after a break up his confidence is shot and women sense that and stay away. does anyone agree?

 

No, not really. Just b/c he's broken up and feels depressed, it does not mean that the lady will feel turned off. It's only human that you're not going to be happy for a while.

 

She might feel a bit intimidated, b/c you haven't resolved your feelings, so she might think, 'why should I get to know this person if he's thinking about another girl'.

 

Some girls don't care, and they'll still get to know you despite the fact that you're trying to get over the past relationship.

 

I think that guys/girls find the same amount of dates. It doesn't mean that if you're a girl, then it's easier for you to find dates. In some ways, it's harder for girls to find dates, b/c they're somewhat picky.

 

If you're having a hard time finding a date, then I suggest to hang out with a group of singles people more often. Go clubbing. Meet people who are into that kind of stuff. When you mingle with them, you're exposing yourself to wide variety of people, not just a limited amount.

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Interesting to hear some views from the other side.

 

It is not one persons's job ask someone out, at least in THEORY but in REALITY it's mostly the guys. ask a sample male and females how many date they've initiated and the males would come up much higher.

 

getting interests from guys in clubs may not be the best way but for every 5 jerks there may be one nice guy. All the while, its a nice ego boost to get the attention.

 

for a guy every rejection chips away at your confidence (i know we should just brush it off but unless you are a robot it does have an effect.) Not what you need after a break up.

 

anyway hope i don't sound bitter i accept that's just the way the world is.

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Some women do gets dates easily - but, then again, so do some guys, you know, the ones that seem to have girls all around them at any given moment, and the girls... the ones that most of the guys are looking at wishing they had a shot with her. The ones the rest of us women are born feeling a combination of envy and dislike for (just kidding, well, not in high school...)

 

Thing is, they are a pretty small percentage. Your eye might FOCUS on them more, but see, that's just it. You see the same ones the other guys are seeing. I mean, you're not gonna notice the shy wallflower doing her best to blend into the paint at the back of the room when her friend gets loudly and obnoxiously drunk, the one who stayed home because she's not comfortable in social situations, the one who is so convinced she's not attractive to guys she's buried herself in work or school, and often, the ones (I was one of these) who was "one of the guys." Oh, guys noticed me - when they needed tips for a present for their gf, or a shoulder to cry on over the latest fight, or help arranging a surprise dinner... haha.

 

I know I personally have heard the "friends" speech PLENTY of times, and I'm sure I'm not the only girl who has - and we don't deal with rejection that well either. It seems to be part of Murphy's Law for both sexes that for every 10 people you're attracted to - 9 of them are going to vary between thinking you're a great pal, or barely noticing your existence.

 

It's true that more often guys end up doing the actual asking out. However, when us girls like a guy we'll often make a point of putting ourselves in a position to be noticed and being the one to approach for conversation and attempts at flirting - and it's just as much an ego blow when this is met (after you finally think you got this guy's attention and get your hopes up!) with something like "Hey, you know something (insert your name here)? I think my friend Joe likes you, and you seem like a nice girl, would you consider going out with him?" Or worse "Hey... can I talk to you a minute? I really like your friend Julie... think I'd have a shot if I asked her out?" At which point you paint on a bright smile, answer the guy you've been hoping noticed you... and hurry home to curl up and cry into your pillow a while.

 

I don't think many people of either gender make it through all the dating and courtship dances without plenty of bumps, bruises, and a few train wrecks. Sometimes it's just hard to perceive it from the other side.

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