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i have been trying my best...i just broke up with my bf ... because of the woman he loves ...before we met...

 

i know it all along even when we were together that its really not me he is in love with...but we were having so many good times... he was then very kind to me...and that really i had false hopes that we could be having a great future together...i thought his finally over with her..but worst thing happens during his birthday when i ask him if the girl had texted and greeted him... he denied at first...but then he admit it...i then asked if i could read the messages of the girl....and there it was all messages saved in his phone...he even still have the messages of the girl which is almost over a year stored in his phone...i know he loves the girl...but this time..he is confused and maybe grow fond of me, that he can't say it right out... he want to end ours...at least that is what i feel...but it would be unfair to me right? having me as his second choice...so then i deleted all my messages in his phone...because i see no use of saving it there...that is then the time he blew up...he was so mad...he calls me names..and even posted it to his site...it was awful...i feel like a *beep*...and so very much insulted...

 

for almost a year they don't have any contacts because the girl didn't take notice of him.... or as she said she i so busy...and making her studies her priorities...and there i was the stupid girl who loves this man who is willing to be his crying shoulder..we were both honest to each other...but i can't help it... i really can't easily forget him...i just can't understand why he is so mad at me...i thougth he would be grateful to me...for letting him go...now he don't wan to talk...he is just mad...i don't know if they are together now with the girl...i don't want to care..i want to move on...but how??? we see each other everyday...we are working in the same department...and worst we need to talk to each other...now he keeps on hurting me..he calls on to his girls....not that woman..to diferent girls...i know he did it to hurt me...because he usually do it when he knows i can hear...i want to forget him..and move on...but i usually feel so down..my studies and my whole life is so affected...i need help!!! what shall i do? save me...im drowning...

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I'm very sorry things turned out this way for you.

 

It's not likely to be any comfort - but chances are, it isn't you your ex is really mad at, it's himself and his feelings of guilt at hurting you, and possibly also feeling weak he's still vulnerable to HIS ex when he was with you. When we find flaws in ourselves, sometimes we react by lashing out at the people who deserve it the least who are close to us in one way or another. It's funny, but sometimes the more considerate you are of someone else, the more hateful they are towards you, since they feel they don't deserve your consideration, and it comes back where it's least deserved - at the person showing them that care and consideration.

 

You know in your heart you loved him and gave him all you could. And you know you were being generous by letting him go. Just be careful your emotions and generosity don't let you take on any of the fault for him not being able to deal with his emotions in any other way but anger towards you, that's his issue, and needs to remain his issue, not yours.

 

It's still going to hurt that he can't be at the least grateful you were willing to let him go - but try not to let it torture you. You did all you could from your end. Now give yourself a little more credit for being the better person you were, since you can't rely on him to recognize it and react appropriately, do that much for yourself. Give yourself that pat on the back, and do something nice for yourself!

 

Hey, sometimes when other people don't recognize we need something nice or special done for us, we have to take the initiative and do it for ourselves, just because we deserve it.

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thanks guys...you just don't know how grateful i am...reading such msgs from all of you. you know this site has really help me a lot...this is such a nice idea...you just don't know how much your opinions help...everytime i give my insights..and read post from other member..i slowly understand how complicated life is and how would it help us grow...the good thing is....we are not alone!

 

and we can make it through...i'll try my best...thanks to all of you.

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Hey There Fairy kiss

 

Hang in Girl it will get better. I hate those ex cell phone messages myself. My ex used to get calls from an old boyfriend trying to get back with her. I used to spot the numbers both time and date from time to time. And of course she said it never happened. Then the trust slowly fades, and you can only wonder when it will happen again. For me I had to follow my heart. And my heart was hurting and she was taking me down. I felt I did not want to compete, I had to be #1 or nothing. I was kind to my ex and she was a jerk to me. In the long run I came to realize that the maturity levels were very different. Sounds to me this guy is a real jerk. And sometime we do fall for jerks that hurt us, I know I fell for one. And even though she was a jerk, I still loved her none the less, and still do to this day. But I just can't be with her,I had to let it go and move on as hard as it was to do. It does hurt, I feel your pain through my very core. And only time will heal the wound. Like the moderator said I agree go out with some friends, and do something nice for you. I would ignore him at work totally whenever possible,unless you have to talk to him. But if you do talk to him and it is getting you upset, like I said try to avoid it. I'm sure after time the jerk will come to his senses and realize he lost someting very special...."YOU"

And that would be someone that cared. And that Fairykiss is a very special.

Because you are very special, you are a human being with feelings and a genuine person who cared about another. And that is a very good thing.You are in my prayers. Hang tough.......you will get through it, that is a promise. It may take some time but you will get through it.

 

Kuhl

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