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Meeting ex, she's giving me a b-daygift

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Hello people of Enotalone.

Once again I ask of your advice because I have trouble deciding on what to do.


As the title of the thread told you, I'm meeting my ex this monday. She's coming to my apartment to hand me a late birthday gift. She forgot to congratulate me on my birthday yesterday and tonight she told me she had bought me a present.


Now I felt quite biased on whether or not I should accept the gift. I felt that not accepting it could/would be taken as a decline to have her in my life and let her be so close to me, so I accepted after some pondering.

Did I do the right thing?


I still love her very much. But she told me last Sunday that she had a date to a prom with a new guy. She said she only went as a friend, but she has only gotten to know him under the time that we've been broken up (she got to know him about two-three weeks after the breakup and now it has been 4½ weeks since the breakup). The prom tickets cost about 1000SEK (Around $120) so I think that it is quite a lot to spend on a night with a person you hardly know. I would break down and not be able to say anything if she told me anything about it.. But I think that the subject will come up because when she told me, I left abruptly for a walk which lasted for about six hours. I told her that I was taking it, but she misinterpreted my sadness for anger. It was cleared up later that night though.


I just don't know how to handle this. My heart is throbbing and beating wildly and I miss her so much. We also agreed to both be friends, so it could just be a gift out of friendship.. However, she knows I still have very strong feelings for her as well. Please give me some advice on how to handle this on Monday. I can't think of a good way to do it.


Thank you all in advance.

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Hi akatoro,


Ir sounds to me like you need to stay away from this girl. For yourself of course. She may be well up for being friends, but you should be thinking about your recovery and nothing else. If meeting her and hearing about her "great new life" is hurting you, then simply stay away for your own good. The is no point in putting yourself through any more pain and stress than you have to deal with already !


Hope this helps you some,

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Thank you for honouring me with your presense and response, Charmed


I have thought about shielding her off as well. And I have given many people the same advice; to stay away from them ex'es. But the thing is that she was the first love I've ever had and she is the one who has showed me all these new emotions that comes with being so infatuated in another human being. She is oh-so nice and she is really treating me well.. Eventhough it might not seem like it when she tells me things like that. But in the end I guess I would much rather have heard it before than after, and possibly have been thinking that she wanted to hide it from me.

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You just have to ask yourself do you really want this girl in your life and is it healthy? Is all the pain and emotions worth the friendship that she says she has for you. Personally I would stay away from her.


Its been just about 4 weeks since my ex and I broke up. And if she came back to be friends with me I don't think I could do it. Just looking at her in school brings back memories of the past. And talking to her makes me so mad that I could bite a nail in two because I am hurt that she left me. Maybe sometime in the future she and I could be friends but I have to get over her first, and I think that is what you should do too if you still have strong feelings for her.


Just my 2 cents

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