What to expect from the ex/friend???????

[Hollyj]

My ex and I have recently established a friendship after a breakup in Oct. There are still feelings on both sides but we have decided to stay in a platonic relationship due to external issues-we usually speak several times a week, and consider one another close friends.

 

The problem is that I do not know what to expect from him re. emotional support. My brother was diagnosed with lung cancer last week and it has been a very difficult time for me. My other good friends have been outstanding in their love and support, but I have not had the same from him-one phone call and one e-mail. I might add that, since we have reestablished contact he has told me he several times that he still loves me and has feelings for me.

 

How do I handle this fellow ENAers??????? We are meeting up on Thurs. night and I need to know if I should say anything, I would to my other friends?

[rosephase]

I’m sorry to hear about your brother.

It sounds like your other friends are giving you support. And that he _is_ giving you support just not as much as you would like. I think it's important to ask yourself why you feel like you need more from him.

[Hollyj]

Thanks.

 

I guess b/c he is my friend and I do still care about him. The confusing part is is his declaration of his feelings but not following through with the necessary action.

 

Do I say anything?

[renaissancewoman101]

Who broke up with whom?

 

Getting support from an ex can be hard.

 

If he is your friend, I would say something to him. You are going through a lot right now and he should understand.

[Hollyj]

It was a mutual split.

 

I think that he were not expressing his feelings the situation would be very different.

[rosephase]

well the question is if that is necessary action. I have very close friends that I would call and e-mail if I heard about a problem they are having but it sounds like he has done that and he is getting together with you. That doesn't sound like someone that doesn't care about you. What would you like from him?

[Hollyj]

The contact and concern I have received from my other friends.

 

By the way the e-mail was in response to an unrelated question.

[renaissancewoman101]

The contact and concern I have received from my other friends.

quote]

 

Does he know that is what you want? Have you expressed it to him?

[Hollyj]

No Ren.

 

When we last spoke on Thurs he was very supportive and closed by telling me that I knew how he felt about me (loves me).

[renaissancewoman101]

What do you think you are going to do now? Any ideas?

[Hollyj]

I guess I would tell him as I would any of my other close friends. Any suggestions?

[renaissancewoman101]

I would wait till Thursday and talk to him and tell him you need his emotional support as you go through this tough time in your life.

[Hollyj]

Thanks for your input

[renaissancewoman101]

You're welcome. I hope you come back to update about what happens.

 

Unlike most people on ENA, I DO think ex's can be friends.

[Hollyj]

It can certainly be a challenge, but I do know others who have succeeded.

[HeartBreKid]

Denail, Trickery, Its Unsenciar Dont Be Her Friend It Just Doesnt Work That Way!

[Hollyj]

HB Kid,

 

I can't understand what your reply meant? The spelling and the punctuation are so poor that it doesn't make any sense.

 

Re. the issue. After having our discussion he has gone out of his way to be very supportive . It's always good to be honest and upfront with those that are important to us.

[renaissancewoman101]

Hollyj, I'm glad it worked out for you and that your ex is being supportive and loving. That is good. Honesty is always a good policy.