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IM so hurting and confused.....

id ont knwo why i feel the way i do i really dont!

i broke up with ex like 8 mnths ago , i just didnt feel like i was falling in love with him and so i was scared cos i had been with him for 3 and half mnths and it just didnt feel like butterflies n stuff so i was scared that i wouldnt fall in love with him, so when i was offered a job abroad i took it up and decided to break up with my ex because he was stuck on the idea of waiting for me for the 3 mnths i would be overseas and i was scared ild come back and it wouldnt work out and he owuld have waited all that time. I wanted to break up and see how i felt while i was away from him cos more then anything i didnt want to hurt him and he was fallin for me big time.

the thing is i really love htis guy just maybe not like id do anythin for u love, maybe more like i care about u soooo much love but not in love, i care for him so much, i have it in me where i love to help other ppl and give to ppl and care about ppl and i love to feel needed etc and he was perfect for this, thereforeeee we formed a strong bond and care for one another. he got over me though while i was away, fair enough, i told him not to wiat for me and i had broke up with him.

the things is ive been back form overseas for 3 mnths now and i spend all my time with him, like ebst mates, its always just been me and him as we both dont knwo many ppl where we live etc, but now hes seeing someone new, and its really upset me but I DONT KNOW WHY!

i so wanted ot be able to fall in love with him, hes sweet , took care of me, loved me but i wasnt in love and wasnt fallin and i didnt knwo if i would cos it had been 3 mnths we were together and i just didnt feel 'EXCITED" kinda falling for him thing, do u think that means i never would have?

now i cant stand the though of loosin my best friend, i cant stand the thought of him not needin me now,and not spending all time with me , i cant stand the htought of him having a better relationship with her then he did with me, i cant stand the thought that maybe hes in a better situation in life now and maybe i COULD have fallen for him if we went out now,i hate that she is falling in love with him and i couldnt!!!!!, i cant stand the thought that i feel so left out and alone.

why do i feel like this? do i love him? am i jealous? do i regret things i soooooo dont know. i hate that she is fallin for him and i couldnt!

i also have this hting where i love a guy until they love me and then i get turned off, i think if he did wnat me back i would maybe say no but cos he is over me im confused with what i feel.

i asked him when i knew he wa sgettin with her if he would maybe wnat to try again with me but he said no cos things wouldnt be the same. the worst thing is i hate feeling liek this cos i only want to be happy for him, i know i aint best for him, i knwo shes better for him then me but i just hate that im upset rather than happy for him.

hes the only one i got and hes closest person to me here and im goin to miss him around so much cos hes my best friend and im on my own now.

i just dont understand why im so upset over this and hate how he doesnt need me and their happy together but i dont even think i am in love so why do i feel like this, am i in love n don tknow it? i never felt goosebumps etc with him, maybe i just hate that i said no when maybe he has more potential now and i COULD have fallen for him, maybe im jealous he loves her n doesnt need me and shes in love with him and their both so happy they have each other.....i dont knwo i need help plssssssssssssssssss.

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hey charlotte,


how do i tackle this one loool,


sounds like your ex boyfriend has really moved on, and you haven't. im glad to hear that you aren't making his life living hell and letting jealousy and other emotions make him suffer. you realise whats best for him, and for you. the fact here is that you let him go, and now he is enjoying his life again, and you are starting to regret it. man i wish i was in his shoes!


you broke up with him, but you still seem to assume that he is always there for you. you call him your best mate. thats all you are now and have been for 8 months- mates. thats what you turned him into. and now he has realised that there is no way back for you two.


you say that you love him but not in that way, so thereforeeee you broke up with him. what have you done since the break up? have you really moved on from him? have you started dating other guys or shown that life goes on? do you ever hang out with other girls or go out and meet new people? or are you still hanging around with him and call him your best mate. honestly ask your self why you were hanging around with him. my interpretation is that you were really just worried from the start that he was going to find someone else, that you were doing alot of the chasing. maybe im wrong, but only you will honestly know.


everyone will feel jealous when their exes find someone else. after 8 months- and keeping in mind you were the dumpee and that he was the one really getting into you- you are feeling really jealous about his new girl, and he has even stated that there is no way back for you two. that signals to me that he has moved on, and you haven't. maybe you have and i am just reading it wrong? the only way to find out is to leave him for now. pull your self together, and if this jealousy is just a faze, then theres nothing to worry about. if its consistent, then you need to start moving on away from him the way you were supposed to 8 months ago.


date others, and dont depend on him anymore. find someone that will give you butterflys in the stomach, who you will feel that kind of love for. you will be happier for it!


good luck

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