I can't get past...

[Michael2]

Summary:

 

Girlfriend and I broke up, 2 weeks later she met someone else and had sex with him. She knew what she did was wrong and that its a mistake.

 

Fast forward 3 months, we have been trying to work past this, but I cant get past the fact that she did what she did. Each and everyday I think about the two of them and dwell upon the pain she caused me. As a result there is a severe strain on our relationship, and I believe that we may not make it through this.

 

Comments are welcome.

[bdub]

Michael,

 

You are not ready to be back in a relationship with this girl. It is clear that you are having a difficult time letting go of the pain in your heart, and you will not be fully open to her in this new relationship until you heal the pain in your heart.

 

My suggestion is to try to work on forgiving her. But realize that it takes time for that pain to fade. I'd be sure to keep the communication between you flowing, so she knows what you are going through. Tell her that you are still hurting from the past and that you are trying to work it out, but it will take time. If she is willing to work things out, then she should be able to understand.

 

Best Wishes,

bdub

[latinstyle]

Just wondering, are you the first person she slept with? If not then she obviously slept with someone before you and that didn't bother you when you met her. Look the bottom line is that you guys weren't together at the time and both you and her could do anything with anyone.

 

How do you know this happened anyway? Did she tell you? If so she was way more honest than she needed to be because truth is she did not have to tell you. This happened to me and I ahve to admit it made me furious and jealous big time but I love the girl very much and made myself realize that we all make mistakes and she came back to me so I am the one she wants.

 

Trust me, if you dwell in the past, you guys can never move forward. Your choice not hers.

 

-Ernesto

[lrw301jl]

Hey Michael2,

 

It sounds like you really love. But let me ask you this question then, do you love her enough to look past it. You guys did break up and what she did really hard to accept because you really don't understand how can she just go off and have sex with someone else. I agree with eibarra and that she didn't have to tell you although maybe you would found out somehow. But that should tell you something because she didn't have to tell you. She thought the best thing was to be honest with you because maybe she realize that she made a really big mistake and that she is regreting right now. I really think that you two need to take a break from each other. Just play it cool and that is going to take time for you to forgive her for she did. Like Eibarra said you can't always dwell on the past. You have to move on and look towards what holds ahead in the future. I know that is going to be difficult for you to over look this. But love conquers all and that maybe with time you realize that you love her so much that you can be okay with what she did. We are humans so we are bound to make mistakes. Good luck with everything, hopfully I have helped with your problem. If you get an chance could take look at my problem under dating and title is "Need advice again"

 

lrw301jl

[emdeesea]

You guys were broken up. She can do what she wants.

 

Sounds like you're the one with the problem here. It's up to you. If you can't "forgive" her (for something she had every right to do), you'll need to move on. This is not her problem; it's yours.

[Michael2]

Thanks for the replies.

 

I have been trying to work past this. The reason it hurt so much was because I thought after the break up , that it would be a temp thing and that we would get back together shortly after. I didn't think she would be with another guy so quickly, but it happened. Next weekend, she has her company Christmas party. I am upset that she is going, because the other guy she was seeing is going to be there. I want to go, but at the same time I am afraid to see what he looks like. Does this make any sense. And if you guys were in my shoes, would you go. Oh by the way, this is a long distance realtionship, she lives about 4 hours away. Thanks

[latinstyle]

Michael2, if she invited you to go with her, then GO by all means. If she didn't want you to go then that's where I'd see the problem. You need to stick your chest out and show her, the guy and yourself that you are the man. She is back with you and if you keep on showing her that it bothers you and you act weak, you run the risk of losing her again.

 

Be strong man, step back, look at the situation. You have her again, you are going to the christmas party with her, don't let the past ruin your future.