dumped and broken

[dave210573]

My first time on this site and I've seen enough to know I'm not alone. Doesn't help much, though. I'm an Australian living in London. I met my ex (half-Chinese, half-english) in Beijing three years ago and split up one month ago. She followed me to England because, I imagined at the time, she loved me. She said she wanted to have children and grow old together. The whole thing was her instigation. Then she dumped me after 11 months in the country, when all the hard work was done (jobs, place to live etc). Now I'm like "what the hell am I still doing in this country?" I've got a great job here and some good friends, but the place just has too many bad memories now. I don't know whether to go back to Oz or not.

Also, I handled the dumping quite well at the start, but now I'm starting to feel very resentful. We were living together, and I moved out to give her space. I left her money to help with rent etc. She wants to be friends, but it tears my heart out to even hear her voice, let alone see her. Then I called her the other night when I was drunk and was quite rude to her.

Now I find out a close relative of her's is in hospital with a life-threatening illness.

I don't know what to do, or how to get over this. I want to be nasty to her but I know, deep down, that she's not a bad person. Help please