how to get the love of my life back

[jl301]

Hello Everyone,

 

I am new to this forum and I am really desperate and need some help. Please give me some good insight and advice about my situation. I would really apprecaite and I want to go ahead thank everyone who is willing to giving me some advice, thanks.

I am have dating this girl for about almost two years. We broke up about four and half months. I have been so miserable without her. The reason that we broke is that I have been lying to her during our whole relationship. I want to tell you guys that I sincerely and geniunely love her and that I don't would never want to harm her. Why would I lie to her if I sincerely love her. Through out my life, I have always been searching to be accpeted and loved because I feel that I am never always in the cool crowd and being truly loved by friends and lovers. I lied to my ex about how well-off my family was, and that how I am so smart and getting accept to all these great medical schools. I also ran into problem of running my creidit cards up for gambling at the casino's. So she felt that the two years relationship has been a lie. I don't really blame her, but I don't mean to do all those things because I thought by telling her all that stuff it would impress her to like me more. I am so sorry for all the things that I have done to her. I am really changing my life around now, I realize that I need to focus on the what reality is right now that is facing me in the face and stop living in that dream world which I thought that my parents have all this money. I know people out there is not going to believe that "an liar" could change. But I really did change because not just for her, but for myself and my future. I really truly love her and she even said that she know that I treat her well, but the two years have been an lie. I like I told her I can't change the past but I could sure do something about the future. I love her with all my heart and that I want an second chance to prove to myself and her that I am able to love and honest with her. To be able to take care of her for the rest of life. The thing is that she is applying dental school all around the east coast for this coming fall semester, she already have interviews at Boston already. I am really afraid that she going to leave and that I won't be able to have an chance to prove myself to her. She did apply to an school here locally, I really hope she stays here. I was wondering if anyone could give me honest advice of what they think about my situation. Do I even have chance to get her back. What should I do ? Everyone keep tell me that give her time and be patient. I understand but it is really difficult and I am also worried that with time , feeling go away. Please help me, I willing to hear any time of advice,

 

Sincerely,

JL

[SwingFox]

Hi Jl,

 

Unfortunately things will take time for you and especially her, I am afraid. Any relation is pretty much based on trust. If you break that rule, it's going to be hard if not impossible to undo that. I do hate lying myself and for me it is a reason to break up and then stay away.

 

Different people have different views and I hope that she will find a way to forgive you and then try with you again. Keep telling her that you would like to try with her again. Keep telling her why you love(d) her so much and what she did to you. Tell her why you feel so much in love with her. That might lighten her up a bit and help.

 

I hope that you will get together again. Good luck, Jl!

 

~ SwingFox ~

[mermayd]

Hi JL,

I think I should give you a great pat on the back for realizing that you made mistakes and for changing your behaviors. That is very honorable of you. If I were you, I would dwell upon this a bit more and congratulate yourself because not very many people are able to bring themselves to the point that you have. I think you should talk to this girl and tell her in all senserity what you have just explained to us. Try to avoid using the words,"I've changed..." but maybe instead saying,"I have grown...I have made mistakes that i am willing to admit to and have learned from them..."This sends a clearer message to her that YOU have not changed, but your BEHAVIOR has. (this is the only realt thing that changes in people anyway, people themself dont change it is their behavior). Anyway, unfortunately, I think that this is really ALL you can do. You can express your feelings to her, explain your mistakes and how you have learned, but the rest is up to her, whether she decides to be with you again or not. Try looking at this from her perspective. Dont you think it would be difficult to renew a relationship in which mostly lies were involved? She may doubt that you were truthful in what you said your feelings for her were... So if she does want to give it another shot, you should recognize that she is putting quite a bit on the line and she is being rather courageous. In any case, you cannot force her to fall back in love with you or force her to be with you. All you can really do is explain yourself, and see what happens from there.

I hope I helped! Good luck and stay strong!