HOW CAN I SAVE MY MARRIAGE ???

[messed_up]

I have known my wife for ten year and been married two of them. I have two girls 5 years and 14 months. My wife tells me she loves me, but that she is not in love with me anymore. She does not trust me and does not want to be around me anymore. She had given me plenty of warnings she was not happy, but I sat back and did not do anything about it. Our jobs meant we were not together a lot, as I work 12 hours at night on the Sunday, Monday and Tuesday and she worked Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights.

 

The wife and kids have left me five days ago. The emtpy house is doing my head. Everywhere I look I see things that remind me of them. Things are turning for the worse for me. I tried to hang myself, but I just could not. Please help.

[vfunkera]

first thing i would do is to stop hanging around in a empty house, and observing things that remind u of ur family all day. get out and talk to a few friends, and start going somewhere that is going to help u out. take a few days off work, and pull ur self together. dont hang urself, theres a world full of people out there who care. how would ur children feel when they find out their father hung himself. your parents? the community? your own wife? this is a real test. dont just give up.

 

the next few days are where u need to figure out where ur kids and family are heading. give ur wife some space, but contact her and tell her that picking up and leaving is not going to help anyone, especially ur 2 daughters. unless she cant stand u anymore or shes really immature, which i doubt, then she needs to come back real soon to sort things out. mean while, u need to sort urself out, identify where uv gone wrong, and anything else that has made her feel the way she has (honestly) to just pick up and leave u sick like this. why cant she trust u anymore? why cant she stand being around u anymore? whatever uv done, then u need to look at it, and change for the better if u hope she comes back.

 

i would label ur jobs as really influencial reason for her to just lose interest in you. maybe u need to change times so u can see each other more. discuss these with her when u decide to meet and talk things over. ur children. everything. if u dont make arrangements to have a conversation to save your marriage, then your stuck. i dont think she can come out of a 10 year relationship without any more feelings for u. she even said she loves u. so unless she is really immature, then she will agree to meet.

 

thats my insight, and i hope and pray everything turns out for the best for u. good luck.

[poodlehead]

my guess is that the odd hours have a lot to do with this. it's put stress on your relationship when you also had the stress of children and a household. it probably amplified any problems you guys were having. please do not even consider suicide. love yourself, your wife, and your children more than that.

have you given her a reason to not trust you? i would try to go to counseling with her. if she refuses, go by yourself for now and she may come around. in the meantime i would be praying and try to stay in touch with your kids. make sure they don't become a weapon between you two. i hope things work out for you. good luck and remember "love always hopes."

[pschlegel]

Well,

 

Suicide is not the answer. I went through horrendous

panic attacks and black-outs at one point and even

carried out a suicide plan (that luckily failed) about

10 years ago.

 

Now my life is the greatest life that I could ever

imagine. And back then there's no way I could have

ever guessed the path that would lead to it.

 

Have you read any books on relationships? If I had

done more of that back then I would have probably

saved my first marriage (on the other hand I wouldn't

have had the incredibly wonderful wife and son I

now have).

 

Paul