Whats Closure

[dashwag]

what is closure my girlfriend of whom i recently split up with 3 month ago wants closure but i dont understand what she means?

 

also i want her back more than anything in the world but at the moment we have decided to be friends i havent spoke to her face to face in 3 month, as friends i am hoping to get to know her again and remind her of our past then hopefully win her back, i really dont want anyone else but her!

[Happy_Go_Lucky_Heb]

lol now that's a thing you don't hear about everyday!

 

Hey

 

Well closure for me is I wanna get over someone, however, that someone could be someone I still like but due to circumstances (that person is with another now or that person just isn't my type or that person doesn't like me anymore) I just can't like them at all and even though I do, I have made the decision not to. Bascially its justa way of getting a proper breakup and the good thinga bout it now is as you stilll like her, if you want to keep things for your interest (perhpas hers too) you can tell her that you still like her and maybe she could change her mind.

 

There's always gonna be some off you left in her, how much is up to her to decide...

 

Happy Heb

[Ash]

She likely wants to tie up the loose ends, sort out any final last issues. In her mind, she likely wants to compartmentalize your whole relationship, and tuck it all away somewhere all together. She'll always have a special place for you in her head, but she doesn't want to have to deal with it everyday.

 

It's a process we go through for different reasons at different times, but it's a way we mentally file something away so it's not cluttering up our thinking each day. For example, when somebody close to us dies, we can't get closure until after the funeral as that's the last time we'll ever have to say our internal goodbyes, and until we do that, we can't get it out of our heads. Once its finally over and done with, we can move on.

 

In many ways, having been in love, and then breaking up can be similar to death in some ways. There is a grieving process we go through when a relationship ends, and that process continues until we get closure. Then we move ahead again. It sometimes is more difficult when a relationship ends as the person concerned is still around, and closure can be difficult. There often needs to be a specific event, or agreement made between the two involved before this closure can be achieved.

[The Morrigan]

I think Ash summed it up well - it's very hard to get past something when there's unanswered questions, or things left that you wanted to say and never did, still shadowing you and occupying your thoughts.

 

She may have some questions she wants answered, or some things she wants to tell you she didn't, but it seems she's ready to try to have a clear understanding of what happened and why in order to move on.

 

I'm sorry, I know that's probably not easy to hear, even coming from people on a forum. Did she say she wanted to talk to you to get closure, or just bring it up like you said? If she wanted to bring things up, if there's anything specific you don't understand about the breakup, seems the best you can do is organize your thoughts a bit and see if you can get some answers yourself to help you as well.