Never spend time with him

[girllovesboy]

I want to spend time with my husband more. I know I can't see him all day when he is at work, but after he gets off of work after we are at home I still hardly see him. I see him when he eats, watches tv, or playes with thte baby for a few minutes. Then he is off to the other room to the computer. Teh only time we spend any time together really is when we occasionally go off and do something which is rare and far between. We are never in the same room int eh house hardly adn we never go outside together. He just works, gets on teh computer, or watches tv mostly. Sometimes we get to spend some time together at night if he wants to hook up. Other than that he will jsut go to sleep. I feel lonely a lot and like we are wasting time that we could spend being together. Am I overreacting?

[akatoro]

Hey there.

 

Personally I do not think that you are over-reacting. Feelings are what makes us human and how can your feelings be "wrong"? If you feel saddened and alone for not getting to spend time with him, you shouldn't disregard those feelings as dumb. They're there and it's up to him to see that they go away.

 

Have you tried talking to him about this? I am sure that he would pay you more attention if he knew. It is rare that we are so self-conscious that we know exactly how to work things, act and do.

 

Good luck in this. I know that those feelings are very painful.. But they're not necessary

[JOMO]

i dont think you are over-reacting at all. i am in the similar situation even though we are not married.

We decided to live together becuase of course we wanted to spend more time together. But that has rarely happened ever since he got a new job. My working hours is normal, 9-6 but plus need to work on Saturdays. He, on the other hand, works from 12noon to 8:30pm but he works for the airlines and thereforeeee if there is a delay which happens almost everyday, he comes home really late and i am in bed already. Basiacally, i see him sleeping before i go to work and he sees me sleeping when he comes back.

Luckily we both are off on Sundays but we usually are so tired that we wake up late and not to mention have to the laundry, cleaning and all that. We hang out after i finish work on Mondays becuase that's the day he is off.

So it's not that unusual for us that we dont see (and talk face to face) each other for days.

But i feel like ... then what's the point of living together?

We get along well mostly but then i feel maybe we dont spend much time together so we don't crash each other much. I question myself often...do we know each other well? Plus when i need him, he is unlikely to be there (physically) and vice versa.

I have been thorugh a long term, long distance relationship before and thereforeeee i know i can get through this but i know this is hard and there is not much choice left other than just hanging there, is there?

So...yes you are not overreacting at all.

same here!