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a temporary separation that i don't really want


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my girlfriend and I have been dating for 4 and a half months now. she'sin CA and I am in NY. We are both students and are obligated to keeping our school schedules. It's been quite difficult for the past 2 weeks b/c she visited me briefly about 2 wkends ago. she wanted me to spend some of my holiday time with her but my parents (my folks are ambivalent about the situation due to the distance) wanted me to spend xmas at home. I told her that my next big vacation block was in february and that i plan to spend 1/2 month in CA with her. last night she brought up the idea of a vacation from each other because she's been missing me a lot and it's been really hard on her. I really don't want to do it b/c we've been seeing each other at intervals of ~8 weeks. I am deeply in love with this girl and i feel that we can pull through this period of abscence. I don't know what i should do now. she said that we'll discuss this more tonight. I don't know what to do. please let me know other work-arounds if there are any. much thanks.

 

m.

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I really don't think theres anything else you can do to work around it. It's what she wants and you have to respect that, no matter how much it hurts. My ex wanted a break and I kept hassling him because I didnt want it. He ended up dumping me and I think i pushed him into making a rash decision!

 

I think what you need to do is let her know how you feel about her, and then just sit it out. I know its hard but if its meant to be it will be.

 

I hope everything works out for you! x

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hey, I know that you're really hurting right now. Soon, I'm going to be entering into a long distance relationship with my boyfriend. We'll be living only about...75 minutes apart, but at the end of March through early August, he's going to be in Japan, to study abroad. My biggest fear is that while we're apart (either while he's at home or while he's in Japan) is that we won't be able to make it work. My advice is go talk to somebody, anybody. I've visited the counselling center at my school, and I always feel better after I leave. Also, as much as you may feel like sitting around, try to stay involved in things. Take some time to yourself, let yourself feel hurt at times, but not all the time. Also, remember that your girlfriend said that she wanted a trial separation, not that she definitely wanted to end it. Make her realize how much she misses you. There's a saying that if you let something go and it comes back, it's yours, but if it doesn't come back, then it wasn't yours to begin with. I hope this helps! Good luck with everything.

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