It sounds like she is using me

[Linkinpark]

Hi everyone sorry if my post is long. Hey there everyone this is my situation with my g/f for four months and this is a long distance relationship. I met her online and on december the 16 iam fying over to ohio to see her She has a friend name amber and amber's dad is currently with my g/f's mom. They all live in the same house with another sister name rachel who was from another dad at left my g/f's mom pregnant.

 

 

About a few months ago my g/f sam got in trouble with the phone and since then she didn't call me for the last month and half until a weeks i sent her money to buy a phonecard. My g/f is 16 and iam 18 in a few months shipping over to navy bootcamp. Recenty on our phone coversation she been telling me that she is madly in love with me and stuff like that. I am madly in love with her and care for her so much.

 

A few days ago she was telling me that when i go over with her she wanted me to get her pregnant and marrry her cause she saids that everyone in her house treats her like trash and that she hates being there. Yesterday her brother who is name David who is 18 moved into the house. And she called me late on wednesday although she told me she was going to call me asap as she got home. She called me about two hour late on wednesday and yesterday thursday she didn't call me at all and i have been so worry cuse i don't know what is going and i need some advise on what to do with the situation coz to me it sounds like she is using me.

[akatoro]

Hey, bud.

Good choice on your name!

 

I am sorry to say that I don't know what advice to give you. I don't have any experience in these situations and giving you someone else's advice would just be, well.. wrong.

 

As I told another bud who has needed help earlier..

It all reminds me about this story about a little girl I once read.

She immigrated to America from Mexico and she went to a catholic school with nuns as teachers. This was around the same time as the cuba-crisis, "bay of pigs", and the children were taught about nuclear weapons and how dangerous nuclear fallout can be.

One day however, the little girl, who sat by the window, stood up and screamed "Nuclear fallout, nuclear fallout!!". Her teacher came running to the window with her dress ballooning. At the sight of the outside, she comforted the little girl by saying, "Hunny, that's just snow".

So I guess that what might at first seem horrible can develop into being something really beautiful.

 

I wish you well and that everything works out for you. But maybe you ought to try and not get her pregnant and instead, perhaps, propose to find an alternative solution for her problems at home. Good luck!

[lunatic]

Don't get this child pregnant because it is a life time commitment. You don't want to do this because it will probally ruin any chances you have at a normal life. You will be responsible for the kid the rest of your life. What happens if the two of you break up you still have to be in the childs life.

 

Don't get her pregnant it is not time for you yet. You have the rest of your life to get married and have kids.

 

Just my opinion anyway.

 

-Hubman

[The Morrigan]

It sounds like she's thinking a bit idealistically here, and emotionally, instead of thinking carefully about all the implications of what she's asking you.

 

Has she considered she'd be pregnant and ALONE not only when you're in boot camp, but when you have to go to sea duty? Thought about where she'd live, finances, everything else?

 

Getting pregnant and/or married is NEVER, in my opinion, a solution to a problem; instead you're taking on MORE responsibility and adding more issues and considerations to anything you're already dealing with.

 

How about your feelings? Have you two met before? Are you sure you're ready for the committment of marriage to this girl? She's only 16? Do you think she's honestly mature enough to know what kind of committment she's expecting of you, and of herself? If she's 16, she's still in school, right? Does she have plans for that? For relocating?

 

I'm sorry, but I dont think she's using sound judgement at all here. It seems she's very upset, and grabbing at the "I'm in love and we'll live happily ever after" ideal as a solution without thinking through anything much at all. One of you is going to have to think calmly and rationally, and it seems, my friend, you just got elected...