Leave or Stay

[gladiator01]

I never thought id see the day where i am tired of seeing my girlfriend.....Im not on the level that I would like to be on....theres no excitement and less communication....I would love for this relationship to spark back up but the flames are down......Everyday is practically the same thing over and over again...work,class,seeing each other,sex.....same thing over and over...its been that way for a while now and now I'm wondering what it would be like to see other people.....My girlfriend is very much in love with me still and I don't want to hurt her because i have in the past........and it hurt me to see her hurt.....the thing is.....i want to get out of the relationship just to see what else is out there...do i follow that or do i stay in this relationship and try to work this out...we have no big problems but i dont want to stay if we are not getting anywhere...there is just so much that goes through my mind..i need help..

[neva_black_n_white]

hey

if you say that it has been like this for a while then im guessing you have tried to make it work already.

for what reason would you say you are staying? is there anything stopping you other than her being hurt? if not then i dont really think you should stay in the relationship, as you say its getting repetative and youve obviously thought about it.

 

but before you make that decision are you sure you cant do anything to relight the fire? spice it up? or have you tried all the tricks?

 

kel

[enadevoli]

maybe you just need a little change in the relationship, like you said you basically have had the same schedule with her every day. so maybe a change might help make it more interesting. maybe your gf feels the same about that. how about planning something fun with her for a weekend.

 

if you feel like you need to get out for a little while & see what else is out there, then you should do that. i know you don't want to hurt your gf & thats nice of you, but you really need to be thinking about yourself too. i think it's better to tell your gf your feelings, rather than pretending about them.

[lunatic]

I totally agree with Enadevoli and neva_black_n_white on this. You have to do what makes you happy because you have needs and feelings also. It is very nice that you have her in mind but, you also have probally been thinking about this for a while.

 

My advice is "do what makes you happy and to hell with the consequeces"

 

Hope that helps!

 

Hubman

[Gilgamesh]

Hello Gladiator

 

......Everyday is practically the same thing over and over again...work,class,seeing each other,sex.....same thing over and over

 

So how will it be different with someone else?

 

Novelty only lasts so long then you will be right back where you started from, except probably with someone that doesnt love you.

 

Life is what you make of it, you want spark, well make it! what makes you think that being with someone else will bring spark? thats easy because you will put effort into a new relationship, but this one you have taken for granted and dont put any effort into it, thats why its stale.

 

You can go off chasing fantasies and yep, they will be fun for a while, then you will hit the same wall, the problem isnt with your relationship, its with you.

 

Put plainly, you leave this girl that loves you so, you will regret it for the rest of your life, and dont think that after you ripped her heart out that thing wil ever be the same if you should get back together, they wont.

 

Love and life isnt a fast food restaurant of instant gratification, it takes effort you have to work at it. seems all you want to do is switch partners so you dont have to put any work into it.

[avman]

I've gotta agree with Gilgamesh on this one. It sounds like you are just stuck in a rut. It happens to even the best relationships.

 

Try something new that the two of you have never done before. Go skydiving, or scuba diving, or bungee jumping. Or go see an opera, or a monster truck race. Just do something different that you've never done. Mess up the "routine" a little. It might lead you in some new directions.

[MollyElise]

well I probably agree with Gilgamesh and avman on this one.

 

BUT first off, how old are you? have you had relationships before this? How long have you been together? do you live together?

 

Thanks!

[vfunkera]

Gilgamesh is right on this, but i wouldnt come accross as harsh as he has. ur obviously a bit bored with the general routine relationship u seem to have. have u tried anything new?

 

if u want out then obviously dont stick around to keep her happy, u are the other half of the relationship. but do remember that it will be very hard to find someone else that will love u the way she does, and when u do leave and probably realise that u took that love for granted, u will regret it and come running back. after this she will either not take u back, or will though things will never be the same again because the trust has been broken.

 

honesty is important, so i think u should communicate with her on the issue. try and figure out a way to 'spice up' ur lives and time together. but dont drag it along if u still want out, because in the end she will get hurt even more immensly, and u dont want to see that.

 

good luck.