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ex husband acting weird


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Well, my ex and I have been divorced for over 2 months and I thought I was over him. Recently however he has started coming over and spending alot of time with me. If we spend more than a few days together though I feel like going crazy because we start to fight and it seems like everything becomes like it was. We split because we could never get along and always faught in front of our daughter and knew that wasn't good for her. I am so confused. When we get along we have alot of fun but there is so much baggage and we can't get along for too long. He says he never wants to be together again but says we may as well be there for each other until we find someone new. It is hard cause he wants me to be in a "relationship" with him with no hope for the future. My head is spinning.

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It sounds like you're going to have to draw some boundaries that are comfortable for you, what he seems to be suggesting, from what you're saying, is too much like a "friends with benefits" arrangement, except where he's got you UNTIL he finds someone else, not even "I'm not ready for a relationship." That sounds incredibly selfish. Basically, that he has no intention of changing or getting back with you, but has no objection to taking whatever he can talk you into for his own comfort. Is this helping you or your state of mind any? Somehow, I don't think you'd be posting if that were the case. Two months is too short a time for you to have gotten your feet completely under you I'd think, and this is just going to hold you in limbo until HE decides he's ready to move on. Uh uh, this isn't cool, not cool at all.

 

I'd tell him you don't think it's fair to you or your daughter to be focused around him, when it's a temporary thing, and tell him you need to make plans around your child as parents. Deal with each other civilly, and even as friends if you think you can handle that, but no relationship beyond that. The last thing you need right now is to be drawn into depending on him for more than that, just to have that yanked out from under you when he decides he's ready for a change.

 

Take a step back and look at the situation, decide what's best for you and your daughter and where you want this relationship with your ex to go - and get it on the right track in that direction. Tell him what you're comfortable with - and don't let him push you for more, regardless of pleas, arguments, and accusations that you're not being fair. You need to be fair to yourself and your daughter first, bottom line.

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Hello babymamahr01

 

He says he never wants to be together again but says we may as well be there for each other until we find someone new

It is hard cause he wants me to be in a "relationship" with him with no hope for the future

 

Dont get into a "friends" with benefits type of situation, hey I know sex is fun and all, but this will only confuse things emotionally, and being in this kind of relationship will block any chance of finding someone else, because no decent guy is going to want to date you if your still hanging with your Ex.

 

Well, my ex and I have been divorced for over 2 months and I thought I was over him. Recently however he has started coming over and spending alot of time with me

I feel like going crazy because we start to fight and it seems like everything becomes like it was. We split because we could never get along

 

The reason you divorced him is because of this fighting, the divorce is a seperation of two people, its that seperation that you wanted, so why is it any different now? this dont make sense does it? its not the marriage contract that made him who he is, its him that makes him that way. so why should things be any different now after getting a divorce? basically you re-married him without a contract.

 

My advice, stop this now, you both need to separate, and not get involved sexually or otherwise. if you have children, let him be their dad, but you divorced him for a reason, that reason has not gone away. You miss his companionship and thats understandable its not easy. but remember the reason!.

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