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I am afraid.


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I am afraid of so many things. I am 30 and stuck in job I don't enjoy, cannot decide have a baby (I was going have one before 30), drink alcohol to make myself feel better, have a husband who is not very happy either etc. I am trying to change something but I don't know where to start because I feel that there is so many changes that need to be made. I am afraid that I am going to waste my life. My self-confidence is so low and I feel like I can't do anything right. The fact that I came from another country make whole situation even worse. I don't feel competent because of my English and accent. I know that some of those problems are caused by the fact that my mother was very controlling person. Sometimes I feel like a child, not an adult. Can anybody help me? Just so you know, I tried therapy and medication and it helped a little but it didn't really solve the problem.



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Is there a community of people that are of your background/heritgae that you can rely on for help? Coming here is a good start. Try to write down exactly what you feel your problems are, and tackle them one at a time, otherwise you will feel overwhelmed. I worked with a man from Armenia and he was a physicist but he didn't have very good command of the English language. He worked at it and now he speaks more intelligently than I ever could and I was born and raised here. And it wasn't because he was intelligent. He just had a strong desire to fit in. And he succeeded, and I know you can , too. America is a wonderful place and there is a lot of available help. Finding it sometimes is difficult. Have you considerd going to a church and talking with a minister? Sometimes that is the best starting point.

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Taking the line of least resistance guarantees the lowest outcome. By that i mean, if you are paralyzed and doing nothing, that is making a decision in itself, whether you think so or not, and things will take the line of least resistance and life goes on. By making a decision to do nothing, things will still happen, and most likely things that you don't want.


So sometimes ANY decision is better than no decision. If you continue to do nothing, that will not make you happy either.


So you should pick the least stressful decision, and make a tiny step in that direction. Sometimes it is overwhelming to try to make all the decisions at once, so take them on one at a time. You need to jump start yourself out of the fear since it is obvious that fear is not going to move you in any direction you want to go. If you find one decision is not what you want, you can change it and move in another direction.

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