Phone convos.

[VR4-ChoB.]

Regarding the phone, my significant other wants to talk until the cows come home (and sometimes just make me listen to her breathe for 10 minutes at a time), but I want the conversations to be short and sweet, 5 minutes tops. Anything I can tell her so I can do the stuff I want to do instead of being tied up on the phone for hours? or should I just be blunt about it? When those 10 minute listen-to-me-sigh-and-say-do-do-doo-and-make-little-drum-noises-like-i'm-searching-for-something-to-break-the-silence bouts happen, I'm driven to insanity! I've tried telling her "Okay, I'll talk to you later" when this happens, but all she does is huff's and get's an attitude and won't talk to me at all.

 

~Thanks!

[SapphireNoir10]

This happens both ways wth me and my guy! Sometimes he'll phone me up and wont talk! And I try and fill the silence and eventually im like 'Er ok i'll talk to you later' and sometimes he'll phone me up and he'll be like 'I've got to go!' because i talk his ears off lol! I get offended too and I know I shouldnt.

 

Just explain you have tonnes of stuff to do and you'd rather do it so you can see her in person rather than just talking to her on the phone. And when she's silent be like 'Okies I better go do...whatever'

 

OR you could be honest with her but she might get annoyed.

[Entropy Smith]

Thats what caller ID/voice mail is for. Institutional/technological barriers keep ones time his own.

[CallingAllAngels]

Hmmmmmmmmm

 

That's a tough one. There is not a normal "pause" in the conversation?

 

If there is, you could try "Well, okay, I'll let you go now...I'll call you tomorrow..."

 

Or

 

"I've got to run...gotta make dinner...let the dog out...take a shower...someone is at the door...run to the store...do some homework (don't know how old you are)...catch up on some reading...better get my laundry together...have to check my email...gotta call my mom...someone is beeping in on the other line..."

 

Hope one of those is helpful...

 

~Allie

[SapphireNoir10]

Thats a point. But then again she might wonder why your phones always off and you dont answer!

[darkpumpkin]

I dealt with this the other day, there was silence and my bf said he would let me go. I said ok then and he told me straight out he had nothing really left to say.

 

Maybe try telling her that phone silence drives you nuts (it does me) and that if there is nothing to say at the moment it would be best to just let each other go. I mean heck if something comes to mind that she must tell you she could always give you a call again.

 

She will be a bit hurt but come on, who enjoy's hearing there partner breath into the phone for 10mins.

 

Well maybe in LDR....I'm not sure how those work.

[annie24]

i agree with allie - just tell her that you need to get going and that you'll call her tomorrow. and then do so!

[ghost69]

i hate the phone. in person, i really won't shut up. 'well, ima let you go.' i usually say that.

[Daligal83]

Just explain to her that you while you love talking to her, you're not a phone person and you can't stay on the phone as much as she wants to. Reach a compromise. A 5 minute phone call probably isn't enough, but what about 15? Explain to her that when you get off, it's not that you don't want to talk to her, but it's that you run out of things to say on the phone after awhile and you'd rather have conversations of quality over quantity.

[VR4-ChoB.]

Quality over quantity, I like that. Thank you all so much! =D>

[BeStrongBeHappy]

Lots of guys don't like to talk on the phone for hours, so it is understandable.

 

I think the point of her conversations is that she is trying to be close with you and establish/feel the bond she has with you. she sounds a bit insecure if she wants to spend time just doing nothing on the phone.

 

So whenever the conversation starts to get old (too long) or stale, trying saying something that is reassuring to her, that you love her, you really enjoy talking to her, you wished you could have been with her rather than talking, then sign off. Give her something to feel good about (and secure about) before you tell her you're tired and need to go, or you have to do X and Y now.

 

A phone conversation shoudl be about communication, not her holding you hostage for hours. If the 'i love you's' don't work, then you may have to be more blunt and tell her it gets awkward and uncomfortable for you when you've run out of things to say and she tries to hang onto the phone call too long...

[VR4-ChoB.]

My favorite part is the little drum noises she makes when she runs out of stuff to say.

 

I think she is a bit insecure. I can't help but to get the feeling that shes very self-conscious with just about everything: her weight, schoolwork, family, friends and her relationship with me. I try to tell her on a constant basis things that should clear up her insecurities, but I guess it's just something she has to figure out on her own. I'm absolutely in love with everything about her except for the fact that she turns 80% of our conversations into disagreements. I'll post another thread about that later once I figure out what to say.

[CallingAllAngels]

Wow...she makes drum noises?

 

Just really tell her that you gotta go and will talk to her later man. She's just gonna have to go on blind faith that you love her. If you PROMISE to call her, then keep that promise...the more promises you keep, the more she'll believe.

 

Good luck...

 

~Allie