is it worth it?

[alittleoverlife]

My girlfriend and I just broke up after 6 months of an LDR. We had started fighting a lot recently, and it had really started weighing down on us. The question I have is whether or not I should attempt to continue to fight for her, or just let sleeping dogs lie.

 

We seem to not be able to overcome our differences. It feels like she's not willing to give as much to the relationship as me, and yet she continually reminds me that I am the one she wants to be with forever. My only problem is that her actions don't match her words.

 

For instance, she's been starting to go out a lot more than she used to. For a while we tried to talk at least once a day, with intermingling text messages during times when we couldn't speak. But now, we can go a whole day without anything, and that really bothers me. I try to tell her that I need more from her, but she always finds a way to spin it to make it my fault (like that she is giving everything she has, and I don't appreciate her enough to understand that).

 

But it doesn't feel that way. I haven't seen her in two weeks, and throughout our relationship, I've visited her numerous times while she has only come to see me twice. She tells me it's because she has family obligations, school, etc., but what I don't understand is that I have that too yet I find time for her. I mean, we are both busy, agreed, but I always make time for her, while it seems like she only has time for me when it's convenient.

 

Just to wrap it up, my heart is aching. We have amazing times when we are together, but when we are apart it feels like her life away from me consumes her every thought and there's nothing left to give me. I want her to give to this relationship like I am, and it just feels like she's not.

 

I just don't know what to do or why she won't try to make this work. Long distance is hard, but I think if she just gave some effort, everything would be perfect and her words wouldn't seem like such empty promises.

 

Any thoughts?

[SapphireNoir10]

A lot of the time people can't cope with making it work long term. in a LDR My friend broke up with one of his girlfriends because she went away to college and kept making excuses as to why she couldnt see him until one day he drove up and she said she didnt want to see him at all!

 

Im not saying this is the same. You can talk to her and let her know how you feel for the last time and if she still wont change then call it a day. You need to be happy and get what you need out of this relationship. If you can't then theres no point being in it! Afterall actions DO speak louder than words. Anyone can say they love you and want to be with you forever but its only true if they SHOW you this.

 

Good luck

[darkpumpkin]

I believe you can't make some give more then they are willing to.

 

You two are broken up correct?

[alittleoverlife]

yeah we are broken up. We haven't spoken in a couple of days.

[darkpumpkin]

As hard as it is I would keep up the No Contact for a bit. You really can't have one person giving it all in a relationship. You become resentful towards them, the effort they put in.

[Ashleigh_n_TN]

i am in a LDR. it is so hard. except for we live 9 hours away so its not that easy to visit each other very often.

 

I work, go to school, and have lots of family and friends.

However, i find the time to talk to my guy everyday.. sometimes even hours at a time.

Now that my second semester of college has started... my classes are alot harder and i have homework just about everyday. yet i still talk to my boyfriend everyday.

 

Im sorry alittleoverlife, but i think that this girl has moved on. And i think that you should make the best of yourself and move on as well.

 

If you love someone, then let them go. If it was meant to be, then she will come back

[dancinggal]

Long distance is tough and stressful. I can understand her keeping her distance in a way: its almost better not to have a constant reminder of what you are missing, but I can understand that you need that to feel you are still in a relationship.

 

As someone else said, sometimes its just too much for some people, and maybe its time to accept that. As someone else said, don't contact her, and see how she reacts. Maybe she'll come back and say she made a mistake and she really can't live without you, or she may be ok with leaving it. I guess you'll just have to wait and see.

 

I know its hard, but keep smiling.