jealousy, how do i deal with it?

[PersonalMe]

My boyfriend is wonderful and we love each other so much, we've been together for 6 months. I've always been a jealous person, he is NOT AT ALL the player type, or un-trust-worthy type. He's very good looking though, probably my first good looking boyfriend. I consider myself to be good looking, but i am insecure sometimes, (as most girls tend to be) I know he would never cheat on me, but it kills me inside SOOO much, when girls message him on myspace saying they miss him (because he lived out of the country last semester) i know they're just friends, (the same as i have male friends) but it kills me soooo much, and i hate being like that, its not that i dont trust him, (theyre so far away anyway! right?) but how do i make that feeling go away??? i try to ignore it, but it shows in my face that i'm angry, the worst thing is i get angry with him, when HE hasn't done anything! i know its wrong, at least i accept that i do it... now, how do i fix it?? i've talked to him a few times about it, it helps, but when stuff like that happens again it kills me inside! I DONT WANT TO FEEL LIKE THAT!

PS...i also hate it because i know how much guys hate that, and i know he does too...i dont want to be that b**chy girlfriend that doesnt let him talk to anyone, u know?...please help!

[kevinm]

It's my belief that jealousy is not always a bad emotion. On one hand yes. But sometimes it's cute when my woman gets all defensive and kind of protective of me. Like she wants to keep me all to herself. I just let her get it out of her system. I get the same way when guys talk to her... and she is far more head turning than I am.

 

I would just tell him exactly what you wrote in the post above.

 

-Kevin

[Angel_baby]

It is healthy to have a certain amount of jealousy. But when it goes over the line that is when you have to start working on yourself.

 

Does your jealousy interfere with your daily life? Does it start arguments? Do you snoop around in your boyfriends stuff?

 

If you answered yes to the questions above then you probably have a problem that needs working on.

 

I take it by your post that you have no reason not to trust him...? You have sat down and discussed it and he admitted it bothers him how upset you get about it, right?

 

So now you have to start changing the way you think. I used to be a jealous person in the past so I know how angry you can get over jealousy.

Start with this... next time you feel the little bit of jealousy pop up over something stupid, tell yourself "he is with me, not them". Keep repeating that to yourself till the feeling subsides.

 

Also, jealousy can be a trust issue. How much do you trust your boyfriend? If you trust him enough that you now he would never do anything to hurt you... then think to yourself, why are you exactly jealous of these other girls?? You are his girlfriend, no one else. He cares and loves YOU.

 

Take little steps and you can conquer jealousy and it's ugliness.

[AngelEyez]

I have the same issue as you. When I was in a relationship, I'd see girls messaging his facebook "We gotta chill soon

[ghost69]

calm down. this happens to girls all the time. their guy comes in contact with another female and the jealousy card is played. you have to hold this back. it isn't an attractive quality. but that doesn't mean you can't be jealous. it shows you that you realize what you have and that it actually means something to you. but at the same time it shows that you are a bit insecure. you need to get a hold of this emotion and forget about it.