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This could be the end, inputs needed.


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Alright, recently things have been really tough between me and my ex-girlfriend. Over the past couple of months, ive had a rather tough life that ive been coping with. I've been moving from house to house trying to find a steady home, which is happening because i lost my job, while at the same time my father was dying. During that time, i must admit i wasnt the best boyfriend and was rather distracted with everything. I really didnt show her the love she deserves and i beat myself up over it everyday now that everythings better. I now have another job, a steady place to live, and my father is still dying but im learning to deal with it as we have had many good years together. However, not that i realize my mistake, it's a bit too late for me to do anything. I love this girl and i am not talking about the word love in which you throw around, i dream every night about walking down the aisle with this girl. Ive had quite a few relationships and i could see afterwords that theres a fine line between lust and love. After we broke up, i was rather heartbroken... but i had faith we would get back together and that times were just bad right then. But her heart was broken, so she started talking to another guy and dated him for a brief amount of time... she still talks to him every night but that doesnt really bother me. She tells me that she still loves me, because she truly is amazing and very mature when it comes to this. However, she has been angry at me for over a month now about this, when all i want to do is make things better. We still frequently talk and its evident that the feeligns are still there, but she always responds with sorry and that she needs time before we get back. I respect the fact she needs time, but even now close to 2 months later, she isnt even really making an effort to work towards the future. I can see that shes scared, but i really dont know how much longer i can go without feeling like she loves me before my heart gives up. It doesnt help that shes rather jealous and is getting very angry when i hang out with my other friends that happen to be girls, especially when i only see them in public places such as the mall. I really just dont know what to do and i know by now im probably rambling... im sure i forgot something but ill state it later, thanks for your time and any comments are welcome.

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I am a bit unclear WHY she broke up with you? You did not really explain that.


If it was because she was not patient enough to understand that your priorities for a couple months were finding a stable home, and taking care of your dying father.....I am not so sure she is the catch you think she is.


As someone with a very ill parent too, all I can is that is a VERY trying time on any relationship, and a supportive partner needs to be a bit flexible in understanding that it is going to be very emotional and tough for a period of time as you deal with the implications of a dying parent. That does not mean you of course totally disregard her/your partner, but there needs to be some flexibility.

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It was mostly a mutual break-up... but more or less on her side.


I really didn't feel at the time like i was being abusive or disregarding her in any way, but she deeply feels like i have broken her heart. I love her so much and wish that she wouldve been a little more flexible towards the situation. Either way, we are both left broken hearted... just only one of us wants to fix it right now and it's not her.

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I guess I am just unclear how you have broken her heart?


Again, I can understand she may feel a bit hurt if you were not as able to put as much forth towards her for a couple months, but I think given the circumstances it is reasonable that you were unable too. Long term relationships are going to OFTEN go through major things like this and flexibility is needed to understand that our partner is not always going to be able to give EVERYTHING they have to "us" all the time, that is just not realistic (or supportive).


Anyway, all you can really do is give her time but also be realistic, if nothing seems to change on her end towards wanting a reconciliation, you need to move forward.


It seems to me that she is a bit hypocritical about some things...okay for her to talk to someone else in a "dating way" but gets upset if you do...she wants you to WANT her, but is making no effort to reconcile...I just would not get wrapped up in any games. Take care of yourself.

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