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Tell your Story those who HAVE Gotten back together


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I am trying to reconcile things with my ex. Sometimes it seems hopeless, of those of you who have actually gotten back with your ex, could you share your experiences briefly, what worked, what didn't work, and how things are now. I would really appreciate as I'm sure others would as well.

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What works : Giving them their space.


What doesn't work : Begging & pleading. It's unattractive and it only pushes your SO farther away.


My ex and I were apart for 2 months. We gave eachother distance which ironically made us grow closer. Not only did the distance make us grow as indivuals but it made us grow as a couple. It made us realize a lot of things . . .


We're engaged & expecting a baby! I think it speaks for itself =D


It's not always hopeless.

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Ive had 2 previous girlfriends come back who dumped me.One i begged it didnt work and so i sent one final email saying i give up have a fab life with the fella who stole you from me,your crazy etc.A few days later she emailed that she still loved me and had dumped the new guy and wanted another chance.

Another girl who i dated for 3 years went off with another guy,i begged,wrote letters everything i could for i was sure she loved me.She didnt respond i was devestated.3 years later after the last contact between us i received a email,she had split with her guy had a baby and wanted to get back with me.Now this was a girl who i had loved more than any other so i agreed to meet up.She was same fun girl i had dated again but for me the feelings had gone and told her there was no hope for us again.


Its strange how time changes you.

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After the breakup we remained friends. That turned into best friends with benefits. That became "dating." I asked him to get back together, but he wouldn't. We continued non-exclusively dating. I told him that I would end things between us if he starting hooking up with anyone else. We continued planning Valentine's Day as a non-exclusive couple that might go somewhere in the future. His best friend and his girlfriend were asking me if I wanted to come visit for the weekend and I said I wasn't sure I felt like it. He heard that his best friend was trying to get me to come for the weekend and asked my why I hadn't told him and why I didn't want to come. He asked me to come and I ended up visiting. We went to some parties where I got a lot of attention and kind of ignored him a little (not on purpose). At the end of the weekend he told me he wasn't ok with me seeing other guys and we got back together.


We've only been back together for a couple of days and things are a little weird. I had been getting ready to end things because I thought that after 7 or 8 months of being broken up, but dating that we would never get back together. I was planning on ending it that weekend. He told me he loved me so I didn't have to - thank goodness!


I think I broke all of the rules when it comes getting someone back. I talked to him daily. I asked him to get back together. I went out with his mom and talked to her all the time. I hung out with his sister. His best friend and I became so close that I was actually better friends with his best friend than my boyfriend was.


While we were non-exclusive I dated a lot, made some important choices in my life, and lost more than 20 lbs (I was the same weight from the time we met to the time we broke up, but I look better now).


Basically, I think it's about making your ex appreciate you. Sometimes NC works to make them miss you. In my case I was there for him as a friend and he realized that if he didn't grab the pretty, smart, kind girl who has been there for him... there were other guys who would.

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Hey there Dave,


Well...it's been a long road, but we are officially back together and doing wonderfully! I'll give you the quick version of my story - I met my fiancee at work and we became quick best friends. There was always an attraction but then we fell completely in love with one another. After 10 months of meeting and 5 months of dating he moved in with me and my daughter and it was great!

Last school year though (we are both teachers) I got a promotion that he really supported me on taking and then things went downhill. There was so much asked of me and it was horrible. I began having panic attacks and was miserable. I could not leave my problems at work either...I always brought them home and was so mean and cruel. My fiancee ended up doing everything for all of us and he had enough. We began fighting A LOT - even after we got engaged! It was just really bad, but really over stupid little things.


We ended up having a huge arguments, the families got involved and we split completely - he moved out, etc. His mother never liked me because I had a daughter (I was with her father for 8 years and he passed away when she was 22 months old - he was my high school sweetheart and we were waiting until I graduated from college to get married). His mom says that I have a sob story and didn't like how close he and I were. So she really got involved and my mother had a few choice things to say to him too about his actions and hurting me. Needless to say - too many hands in the cookie jar!!!! And EVERYONE WAS INVOLVED! Even ple at work became involved! It was nuts!!!


We didn't talk at all for almost 2 months...it killed me, I mean, I knew what went wrong and I knew he did too, but it was just sooo messed up and everyone kept running their mouths and wouldn't drop anything! I would see him watching me at work and it killed me. We would walk by one another and he would smile as I walked on by acting like I didn't care (WE ALL KNOW I DID THOUGH!!!! ) I was just so angry at him for his part of it and for leaving - I thought we could have fixed our problems, when now I see that this needed to happen.


I was out one night and saw him...he wanted to talk to me. He told me how much he missed his best friend, that he had even told his mother that on many occasions - even that week! This was in November. Since then we have been talking and hanging out more and more. At first, I'll be honest...it was NOT EASY!!!! There is really no trust there and that needs to be built up again. Anyone getting back with anyone knows that. You need to just build that back up because you're completely thinking "This person said so many mean things to me or they left me and you're completely crushed by their words and actions." It doesn't matter how long you were together or how stupid the fighting was...that trust is REALLY minimal!!! No one ever told me that.


It was hard getting through it, but we are truly at a wonderful place right now. We are not engaged anymore, but together and I'm happy with that...I just want my best friend! It's crazy now how I get texts and emails telling me how much he misses me and loves me. I love the ones that tell me how beautiful I am - I love it. But it did take a while.


We are both really happy right now...it's one second, one minute, one hour, one day at a time!

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