Why do I care if she's so bad for me? any advice would be great

[Cole33]

So I've posted my situation here before, but i just ended a relationship because she wouldn't stop talking to her ex, for about four months, I believe she cheated, i mean calling and texting him and going to lunches and kissing him is cheating, but i believe it went farther but I'll never know.

 

she was with me for the last three weeks day and night, and it seemed like things were back to normal, and then the day before she was set to move 45 minutes to be 2 blocks from me, i catch her talking to him again, (he's been saying to break it off with me and be alone for a while, but she didn't want that) and then then from one day she's with me, and the next she's back with full on.

 

and even though I KNOW it was right to end it because I really don't want to be with someone's second choice, I still feel so hurt and just, I don't know alone.

 

this is a woman that "danced" for 10 years, has fake boobs and a nose job, has admitted to cheating on EVERY bf she's ever had (including her ex husband) has bi polar disorder, emotionally unstable and is going back to her abusive ex under the guise of, he wasn't all that bad, it was me that was bad to him, I need to give him another chance. she's also a pathological liar.

 

she has now been in this other relationship with her ex for 5 days, committed, but when she saw me on the train yesterday, she kissed me, twice, and not a peck either, a real passionate kiss, and she was hugging me holding my hand, acting like my gf, (and I wasn't acting hurt or pitiful, so it wasn't pity) but five days into going back with her ex SHE'S kissing me! she writing me that I have no idea how badly she wants to have sex with me, she's been thinking about it all day,....but then says it wouldn't be right and wouldn't get us anywhere,.......why do I even want this woman, and why am I trying so hard to figure her out?

 

also, I have zero history for dating bad women, 99.9% of the women I've dated had great character and moral fiber, she's really the first.

 

so my question is, WHY would I even want to be with this woman, why do I miss her, why am I so hurt if she was just so bad to me an others, I know she's a broken person. but i still miss her and love her, and INTELLECTUALLY i know she's no good, just poison, and I should be thankful that she's gone and I didn't marry her, but my heart feels differently. and I just don't understand why, and it's probably just futile to try, to make sense of someone who doesn't make sense

 

any help would be great

[amtjrtcet]

Regardless of what she's done in her past you fell in love with her. Love is blind, love makes us look for the good in people when no one else can see it. Its normal to miss someone that you loved even after they've done the most horrible things imaginable to you. Trust me. But you will move on and you will get past this. And maybe not right now, but in time you will look back and thank God that you aren't with her.

 

Stay strong