betrayed and confused...

[tenderheart]

I know my story's kind of "so common" , like we almost hear this kind of stories everyday. I didnt expect that it will happen to me.

At the age of 24, i finally had my first boyfriend. (quite a late bloomer ) Not that I dont have a choice but its really what iI believe in...not to get into things on rush. Well, I met my bf , a very nice guy.. a wish coming true on my part. Its like a fairytale, we eyes met...and swoosh! we feel in love!

Everything went on smoothly. His friends noticed a great change in him and really wonder how i did miracles! ( from being a well known as somewhat a "guy with no steady girlfriend" - a player in short ...turned into a one-man-woman!) I told them its a miracle called "love". He's everything I ever want in a guy! He calls me everyday...just to say i love you! - I feel I'm in heaven! I'm even more impressed when he introduced me to his parents! I feel proud and so special!

Until I woke up from the fairytale...after a few months, he frequently went on his business trips, I noticed a sudden change in him. He calls less until never. I asked him why..he told me his just busy..then another reason...his phone got disconnected...and thousands of reasons afterwards! ( all the reasons have been exhausted ). Again me...playing the ever "perfect girlfriend" exhausted my understanding. I never questioned him again. After a month , he told me that he want to talk with me. So i felt a little rush of hope...that, everything will be alright after that. To my despair, he told me that he wanted space and he got problems to deal with that he cant share with me. I feel hurt but i never showed it to him. Instead , I told him that i respect his decision. And being so clueless, thought that it was just sort of a "cool off".

After two months, I just heard that already got married! That very moment I felt that my whole world went crushing before my eyes! HOw could he do that? Why not told me the truth right from the start?! I feel totally numb..like I want to die from that very moment.

He hasnt showed his face again from that moment until now...and I know I should be angry for him betraying me...but this feeling I have right now...I know, isnt right....coz I missed him so...kept on missing him...until now...and it hurts me so much! I cant eat and sleep well..even my work is affected lately. I got support from my friends, they are there to cheer me up. I tried to show them I'm alright but deep inside I am not. Coz, deep inside I feel miserable and so hopeless! Please help! Im confused.

[mermayd]

That is awful for him to do what he did to you. I feel so badly for you. I can only imagine if my boy friend did such a hing to me I would feel so hurt. This will take a lot of healing but I feel that you are on the right track. you know that what he did was wrong and you are going thru a normal healing process. I would explain to your work and anything else involved that this is not a permanent change in you and you are just trying to overcome this pain. They should understand. I would try to put things away that remind you of him and the relationship that you had so you dont keep reminding yourself of this pain. doing so will help you to move on with your life and keep him as a memory rather than dwelling on him. You will heal and you are on the right track. Just keep your head on straight and everything will fall into place.

[SwingFox]

Hi,

 

This 'gentleman' (*cough cough*) is worthless! Although it hurts you bad, and trust me, I know it does, the bright side of this all, is that you found out now, before you really got involved with him in for example a marriage.

 

I am all with Mermayd on this! It takes healing. My addition is, though, to FEEL your hurt and not struggle it. It is OKAY to feel hurt and to cry over this. It will speed up the healing process.

 

Good luck!

 

~ SwingFox ~