ash133 Posted February 5, 2008 Share Posted February 5, 2008 so i don't know where else to turn... i was dating this guy for about 6 months..he totally pursued me..calling me all tlhe time, texting me, driving out to see me so much..things were going so well for the first 4 months..we would both drive to eachother (we live about 40 mins away) we'd have fun, go out, be super affectionate, and just be such a good couple..obviously the honeymoon stage. about 5 months into the relationship we became "boyfriend girlfriend" we weren't seeing anyone else before and giving all our attention to eachother he didn't want the titles though, but i did for my security. it's not like anything would have changed..we were pretty much together anyways, without the title. so anyways, things started getting weird..he wouldn't drive out to see me as much, he never really made plans with me, i was always going out to see him and decide things for us to do. so i was getting all down about it and finally asked him what he wanted and he said he didn't know. he told me he had been in serious relationships before me and wanted time to be single..he needed time to be selfish..he needed to figure out himself..he wanted to break up with me..i didn't. i aksed if he was willing to take a break for a while and he said yes, we'd see where he was in a little bit of time. he reassured me that he cares about me and wants me to be part of his life. so that's fine...BUT WHY DIDN'T HE TELL ME THIS SIX MONTHS AGO????? i don't get it..i'm so sad so so so sad Link to comment
AnxiousGirl Posted February 5, 2008 Share Posted February 5, 2008 Same reason he gave you before- he's being selfish! He's having his cake and eating it too. He's getting all the benefits of being in a relationship without the committment. What could be better for him? You say he's been in serious relationships before. How do you know he hasn't just gotten out of one before moving onto you? You may not realize it, but you may very well be just a rebound for him, just an easy way for him to forget about his ex. I'd guard my heart if I were you! Link to comment
beth116 Posted February 5, 2008 Share Posted February 5, 2008 Guys like this just aren't worth the heartache. I had a relationship like that for a year and a half, and the guy kept me at arms length but still expected me to be there and do everything that a 'girlfriend' should do, without the committment i deserved. I only see how miserable I was, now that I am away from that. You deserve better, I'd say leave him and then he can have all the fun he wants being 'actually' single. Link to comment
Entomon Posted February 5, 2008 Share Posted February 5, 2008 I'm sorry this has to happen to you. If one thing I learned from my last break up is that men love the thrill of the chase. Once the chase is over, there's really nothing to look forward to anymore. Six months prior, you were the it girl. He had fun, loved the sex with you, and enjoyed his catch (you). But now he's bored. If a guy really liked you, nothing will stop him from wanting to be with you. Believe me, there is someone else. Someone else that he wants to pursue just how he did you. You should read the two books by Greg Behrendt, He's Just Not That Into You and It's Called a Break Up Because It's Broken. They'll answer a lot of your questions. Read them and come tell us that you are a Superfox. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted February 5, 2008 Share Posted February 5, 2008 he is into you, but doesn't sound like enough to date you officially. not with the bf/gf title anyways. he is sensing that it's the next step. he isn't grown up enough to do this yet. sucks, but it happens. Link to comment
xxfitchick Posted February 5, 2008 Share Posted February 5, 2008 it sounds like you pressured him into being "bf/gf" before he really wanted to because you needed the "security", so to some degree, you were being selfish too. If it were me, I would shrug it off like it was absolutely nothing. Let him have his time, but don't give him the benefits of being his girlfriend. He wants a chase and some "single" time? Give it to him. But don't hold back from having your own single time as well, if you guys can reconcile in the end, well great, if not, just have some fun... I have a feeling if you make this a challenge he'll come back, but do not pressure him. Getting what you want before the other person is ready can never end well. Link to comment
ash133 Posted February 5, 2008 Author Share Posted February 5, 2008 so you think it will work out for us? i've never had such strong feeling for anyone before....i want it to work out.. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted February 6, 2008 Share Posted February 6, 2008 so you think it will work out for us? i've never had such strong feeling for anyone before....i want it to work out.. i'm sorry, but i don't see it working out. Link to comment
ash133 Posted February 7, 2008 Author Share Posted February 7, 2008 so negative mister..we shall seeeeeeeeeeee..i have faith Link to comment
ghost69 Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 ^^^^awesome. just putting in my opinion. like it or not. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 If you want it to work out, give him triple the space he has asked for. Let him miss you and see what it is like not to have you in his life. Resist the temptation of "if he spends more time with me and sees what an awesome girlfriend I am he will be motivated to commit." Link to comment
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