What do you do when ...

[Celadon]

... you disagree with just about everything that comes out of your co-worker's mouth?

 

I've got a co-worker who likes to villify other people, so that people will join his side and view him like he's the only one who is daring to speak the truth. For example, he likes to tap into people's discontent. It could be about management: "Managers are always getting down on us, making us do more work so they can go play golf every day." Or about politics: "Yeah, you know they INTENTIONALLY don't want you to understand what you're voting for. They write it so NOBODY can understand it."

 

I hate it because he's just playing on people's emotions. Some of the things he says are just so ridiculous and cliched. He states his opinion like it's a fact when it's not.

 

The problem I have is that, on the one hand, I want to reason with him to show him (and the others) that there are other, less catastrophic ways to look at a situation. But on the other hand, he's pretty much looking to argue and I don't want to get into it with him.

 

At the same time, it's hard to listen to him rant, espeically when people believe his exaggerations/lies. ("WHAT? the managers are golfing every day?")

 

It's not that he's a dumb guy. He just does it to get attention. Meanwhile, I'm annoyed, so I don't know what to do. Advice?

[Mun]

He just does it to get attention

 

I would just agree with him and go on my way. You say he is just looking to argue anyway so no matter what you say HE will be Right. It's a waste of time to talk to someone like this. You know it's not true, that is good enough. You can always tell the others that everything he says is not true--when he is not around.

[annie24]

i notice that you get kind of aggravated about a lot of work situations, did you notice that trend in your posts? why do you think that is?

[Celadon]

I would just agree with him and go on my way. You say he is just looking to argue anyway so no matter what you say HE will be Right. It's a waste of time to talk to someone like this. You know it's not true, that is good enough. You can always tell the others that everything he says is not true--when he is not around.

Thanks, Mun. I was wondering about that: Would it be worth my time -- or not? I guess I feel like he's trying to dominate, and it's sort of a lose-lose situation no matter what I do. If I try to reason with him, he'll argue with me. And if I don't, then his "misinformation" is out there and people believe it, which I find sad. So maybe you're right -- it's a waste of time and I just need to accept that fact and move on.

 

i notice that you get kind of aggravated about a lot of work situations, did you notice that trend in your posts? why do you think that is?

Hi Annie. LOL, you must be tired of reading about them, as I am of posting them. Seriously, I did think twice about posting, because sometimes I feel like I'm back at square one (posting about work again) and I don't know how that can be.

 

But to answer your very good questions: I think I'm currently in a job that I find only somewhat satisfying. (But it pays the rent, and I have some seniority at the company now.) It's not a great fit for my personality because I'm more of an independent worker, and my job is ideally for someone who is people-oriented and enjoys motivating others.

 

Part of the problem is that I expect a LOT out of myself, AND I expect a lot out of others. And that's where my frustration comes in. Being around motivated, high-achieving people motivates me. Being around less-hard-working people drives me nuts.

 

So the bottom line is that I'm looking into switching companies, but that could take quite awhile, given a number of factors. Right now, then, I'm just trying to figure out how to "deal" with my current job. Got any thoughts or other observations? Send 'em my way... thanks.

[smickey]

There is only two ways to deal with difficult people like that - either have it out with them or ignore them. I've tried both ways with my previous colleague - confronting him only aggravated the situation so I went to ignoring him - concentrating on my own work and my exit strategy from the company. It didn't help in terms of our working relationship, but it preserved my sanity.

 

Luckily for me everyone else thought he was an idiot too so they were sympathetic to my plight.

 

Once you have decided that you want to move on from your job it is hard to stay motivated but you just have to stay busy, keep working on your goals and do what you can to find a new role as soon as possible.

[Celadon]

I appreciate that, smickey, especially about working on my goals. I think it's easy to get distracted and just focus on what's immediately in front of me -- the annoying colleague or some other complaint. It's true, what I need to be doing is focusing on my goals and working on that exit strategy. Thanks for understanding! Did you end up with a new job, then?