Lousy ex... please read this.

[Poe]

Sorry if this is kind of lengthy, but Ive posted once before on this topic... but I'd like a few more opinions while I provide a little more background! Especially any women here!

 

I was with a girl for a few months last year, and frankly she treated me pretty terribly. Things were great in the first few months, but I could tell she had some emotional issues. She was very anti-touchy/feely, wouldn't even let me give her my jacket... to the point of making an issue of it. Drank alot & often did drugs of all sorts. She had a tenancy of blowing me off, would say stupid and hurtful things. Things got worse as time progressed, but it seems at first she really did try.

 

We fought a few times because I had issues with her friends drinking and driving. I made it clear and in no uncertain terms what I thought of that, and likewise what I thought of her friends. Maybe I went overboard on that, I'm not really sure. I have a hard time letting things go, and especially of my convictions.

 

Anyway, most of the downhill slope was after that point. She had money problems, and eventually wound up giving me reasons to not spend the night. She could have been doing something that she didn't want to tell me about, esp considering I made a big deal out of certain things with her. I took it personally because I was much less sexually experienced than her... I take STDs and pregnancy pretty seriously so casual sex makes me feel very uncomfortable. She made mention of this in not really the most flattering light, and I think it just hit such a sore point. She freely admitted that she was a "terrible person" and in one drunken rant, told me I should leave her because I am too good for her.

 

Plus, she was the absolute worst at communication. So really, none of these things I could really address...

 

Funny... for a girl who thought she was so tough, she was barely able to hold my hand. I tried to run my fingers through her hair, and that freaked her out.

 

 

I think she's abit narcissistic. She had mentioned some things about it perhaps not being the best time for her, that she had to work on "making herself happy before she could make anyone else happy." I know she had a few terrible relationships, and abusive parents. I was always the one pushing to break up, she made it pretty clear that she didn't want to break up and if we did, she wanted to get back together once what I assume would to get her life in order.

 

Now, my question is... I left her and eventually ignored her and didn't respond to any of her messages after an incident which I took to be a pretty clear indicator of infidelity (She told me she didn't want me to spend the night because she was having her period - really stupid excuse right? Anyway I wound up proving later in the night that that was not the case, I confronted her the next day when she was sober and she avoided discussing it like the plague). Did I do the right thing? Should I do or bother from here? I'm very picky and have very high standards, and I really don't meet many girls I like. I guess I'm not sure where the line is drawn where someone is no longer redeemable? Should I be sitting back, waiting for her to confront and contact me? Should I even bother? I guess I'd just like to believe that I'm wrong and that there is something else I'm missing.

[AnxiousGirl]

Look at everything you wrote. There were things that clearly bothered you, but you seemed to have brushed them under the carpet for the time being while you were with her.

 

You had problems with her drinking, friends, how she viewed sex, narcissistic behavior, how you couldn't even hold her hand/touch her, and how you suspected her of cheating on you....need I say more? You weren't happy! Why would you go back if you're clearly incompatible?

 

I think you should find someone more suited for you. I wouldn't bother getting in touch with her, because if you do get back together, those issues will just re-surface again in no time. Those sorts of things don't go away over night.

[thekid55]

Poe,

 

Wow, I don't even know how you can be with someone who won't even let you touch them! But I understand that you can't tell a man anything when they are in love. You just have to let them find their own way. You can so much better. She is giving you so many signs that she is not the right person. I am sure that you can find someone who fits you and your standard better. Feel better!

[MorbidMetalHead87]

I would have broken up with her aswell to be honest.

[Poe]

You're all right. I just have my mood swings every now and again that make me think there could have been some other way. Most of my relationships have been very good and healthy and great to look back upon. I guess I'm just not used to having to accept things like this.