make a point on valentines day?

[ted123]

my girlfriend broke up with me about 3 months ago for about 5 weeks.

 

the resin we where broke up for that long was because I DID NOTHING after we broke up, i didn't call her i didn't try and sort things out and i went and got on with my life,

 

i was tired always being the one who backed down and toke responsibility ever time WE had a problem, so this time i decided she would be the one that would have to do all the work if she wanted back with me...... and she did, she started contact, she worked to try and get me back in her life and she asked me to go back with her.

 

the way it was before we broke up was, i was always the peace maker, i always made things easy for her if we had a fall out over something and i would always take the blame in the end just to have an easy life.

 

every valentines day, birthday, anniversary and any occasion i would go all out, think she just dos not appreciate it anymore and now just EXPECTS it... she expects me to always be the one that makes peace and the one that gos all out every occasion.

 

so im thinking that mayb this valentines day i mite just go for the basics, JUST A CARD, instead of twelve red roses and pink limo and a slap up meal in one of the best restaurants in town (or something like that). do you think this is a bad idea or do you think i have a right to make this point???

[Purple1]

I think it's best not to play games in relationships. Maybe you could try talking to her about it. Or why don't you do exactly what you really want to on Valentines day for her.

[Aleadragonhawk]

Does the point need to be made? Yeah, probably. Is this the way to make it? Nope, not if you want to make your relationship work. Try talking to her.

[lady00]

Talk to her. Don't make points with things like Valentines day...that's not treating her right. Talking to her and being open about how you feel is.

[ted123]

i have tried talking to her, i have told her how i feel but it has not sunk in,

 

sometimes actions speak louder than words and mayb this is one of those times?

[Purple1]

i have tried talking to her, i have told her how i feel but it has not sunk in,

 

sometimes actions speak louder than words and mayb this is one of those times?

 

I really don't believe that will help the situation. Give it a go if you think it's your last resort. But as you've said, you've told her how you feel but she's still not making an effort, do you think then that maybe she's not worth the trouble?

[ted123]

Does the point need to be made? Yeah, probably. Is this the way to make it? Nope, not if you want to make your relationship work. Try talking to her.

 

Talk to her. Don't make points with things like Valentines day...that's not treating her right. Talking to her and being open about how you feel is.

 

I really don't believe that will help the situation. Give it a go if you think it's your last resort. But as you've said, you've told her how you feel but she's still not making an effort, do you think then that maybe she's not worth the trouble?

 

yes she is worth the trouble. i love going all out for her.

 

when i did talk to her about all this she did say that she knows that i do so much for her and that sometime she thinks thats she dos not deserve someone like me. but she is the kind of person that just dos not like talking, and it takes a lot of work to get her to open up and start talking about her feelings, she is the type of person that it is easier to just show her throw actions how you feel and let her figure it out her self.

[Purple1]

I suppose you need to realise what you are asking. You tried talking to your girlfriend but it wasn't enough to resolve a problem but it didn't help. So now the only way to resolve the problem is to make her feel bad? In a parent/child relationship you generally teach them a lesson when they don't behave how they should. Do you really think the same rule should be applied to a couple in love?

[lady00]

but she is the kind of person that just dos not like talking, and it takes a lot of work to get her to open up and start talking about her feelings, she is the type of person that it is easier to just show her throw actions how you feel and let her figure it out her self.

 

Treating her as less that completely special to you on Valentine's day is not the solution. If she can't talk about things then maybe she is not ready for a relationship because verbal communication is key. You can't just get your point accross by treating someone really well or less than really well. This is not a long-term solution to her inability to communicate.

[ted123]

I suppose you need to realise what you are asking. You tried talking to your girlfriend but it wasn't enough to resolve a problem but it didn't help. So now the only way to resolve the problem is to make her feel bad? In a parent/child relationship you generally teach them a lesson when they don't behave how they should. Do you really think the same rule should be applied to a couple in love?

 

i know. you are wright, thanx.. i just wish i could get throw to this girl. words doint seem to work or mayb its just the way i say them (i doint know?).............. you are wright, i will do what i always do and go all out.

[ted123]

Treating her as less that completely special to you on Valentine's day is not the solution. If she can't talk about things then maybe she is not ready for a relationship because verbal communication is key.

 

we have been going out for 3 years so she is ready for a relationship i think. it just since we broke up i guess i felt taken for granted. i will go all out this time again and just wait for another opportunity to talk to her about this issue.

[lady00]

A person can be in a long-term relationship and still not be ready for a mature relationship...her inability to communicate is troubling...but you don't seem to be that bothered by it as you are accepting it. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.