I'm a crumbling foundation(long, can't help it)

[lust4life]

I am stressed out to the point of where I want to just lay down and cry all the time, if only I had the opportunity.

I feel as if I am the foundation-the rock-for almost everyone in my life. I feel like Ms.Reliable, Ms. Fix-It (problem wise), responsible, good listener, helpful....& I wish I was none anymore.

 

They can depend on me for anything, and by the way everything is always piled on me, they know it. I can't do everything and I always feel like I fail them & myself.

 

Let me try to explain this a little better...I work part time, go to school part time & I do one or the other 7 days a week.

 

Ok now for the people- by the way this is just a taste.

I'll start with my family. I live with my grandparents and they rely on me for cleaning. Not a problem. However, they rely on me so much that they won't clean up after they eat, or pick up something if they drop it on the floor, or throw away magazines, newspapers...etc. So I bust my butt to keep their house clean. When people come over and it's dirty they look at me like I do nothing around the house, like I never help them. Failed.

My mom's house is a wreck. Not cleaning wise but she has a verbally and emotionally abusive husband who she thinks about leaving but never does. He yells, she yells at my bros...wreck. I am constantly asked for help in talking to my bro (he's 17) or talking to my mom for him. (Like a mediator). I'm the problem solver, although they ask for my advice and then dismiss it just as quickly. I also talk between my mom and grandma sometimes. Keep failing at this too.

My boyfriend is irresponsible. I keep an eye on his bill payments & help him with things he has to do. His mom comes to me to say make sure J does this. Things she would ask him to do, but he would choose to ignore her or forget. So I have to nag, or do the crap for him. I have to constantly remind him of things. Because of this & everyone else's junk I am an irritated person & not great to be around. I feel like I'm failing at this relationship.

My boyfriend's mom actually relied on ME to talk to about her other son who she thinks is an alcoholic. Like full out crying and confessing and everything. I tried to give her some advice...but I know nothing about that! I also try to help his parents around the house...but by the time I get there I've about had it with being helpful.

There's more..but it's too long.

 

I feel like crying just thinking about all this. I can feel myself becoming an angry person because of the stress. I can't sleep, lost 5 pounds...etc.

The only thing I'm doing good at is school. If there was a quit button for everything else, I'd be pounding it. Any advice or comments are greatly appreciated.

[Dako]

I sure understand feeling overwhelmed by obligations and responsibilities, and the past week has been the pits.

 

What made you think you can do all this without having a meltdown?

Everyone has a limit to the crap they can embrace for others and themselves.

Learning to say no is a major accomplishment.

 

Let the cleaning slide, let people with problems seek counsel from others. You can't help anyone if your life is miserable, or if your health declines.

 

I'm in a bit of the same pickle, and was freaking out about the pressures of my responsibilities last week. I took Saturday off as a day of rest, went out to a movie and tried to enjoy simple pleasures. It gave me a perspective on things. Instead of racing to do everything, I'm discarding tasks that really aren't vital, and plan to delegate a little bit.

 

Breathe, and lose the guilt of not being there for everyone. After all, it just encorages more people to lean on you.

 

BTW, Just because you can't fix everything doesn't make you a failure.

[Daddy Bear]

Just tell them that you're overwhelmed, L4L. Hand back a little responsibility. Are you not entitled to be human?