gnarlyhoc Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 Alright so i think everyone may have heard my story many times. if not ill give a quick re-cap. I'm at college with my ex girlfriend, and i transfered in way after we broke up. I didn't talk to her for 2 months before i went back to school. In about the week leading up to school and this week she has been sending my quite a few message. It has basically been a 3 to 1 ratio. Most of them were no big deal, she was just acting like she really cared how i was doing. I didn't answer since she didn't care when i was going through some really tough times. Then all of a sudden i get a message that says "Can we hangout?" I didn't respond since i didn't think it would be good at this point to hang out with her since she as a new boyfriend. Then she sent me another message after that saying "Or not thats fine toooo. Just wondering" That made me laugh because it sounded like she was getting mad at me. Then later that night again i guess she knew i was going out to some parties and she texted me again. "Where are you guys? I don't want to bother you but...." then she just texted me what was going on. My questions are ... What is she trying to do by talking to me? I thought she got the hint that i didn't want to talk to her. Even one of her friends came up to me asking why i wouldn't talk to her. I didn't even know the girl. And why would she talk to me if she had a boyfriend? I was thinking if i had a new girlfriend, i don't think i would be wanted to hang out with my ex, and i don't think my girlfriend would like that either... Link to comment
doyathink Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 If you want this girl back, then don't play games, answer her messages. If you DON'T want her back, then simply tell her so. Tell her to leave you alone. Link to comment
traeh Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 I agree with doyathink completely. However, if she broke up with you, then I'd question her intentions. If she is the dumper, she is most likely trying to string you along. Cut the ties if that's the case and move on with your life. Link to comment
gnarlyhoc Posted February 3, 2008 Author Share Posted February 3, 2008 yeah, she was the dumper. I am questioning why she is doing this. She broke up with me 5 months ago, but i have been in very limited contact with her since then. We were together for 2 and half years. I know i don't want to be a part of any games with her. I think its weird because when we broke up i couldn't get a word in. She wanted nothing to do with me. Now all of a sudden she keeps wanting to hang out. It's really hard to cut ties because i do have to see her once in a while. The campus is not that big. And her new boyfriend is in my building. Link to comment
doyathink Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 BUT...do you honestly want her back? Link to comment
DayHell Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 your situation sounds pretty similar to mine at the moment. i had been with my ex for nearly 3 years then she broke it off with me and within a month had a new boyfriend. i went into NC, told her we couldn't be friends after the way she had treated me and didn't speak to her for 6 or 7 weeks. then out of the blue she starts messaging and calling wanting to know how i've been and suggesting we should catch up. but she's still with her new bf and i'd made it clear to her how i felt so like you i'm feeling pretty curious as to why she's interested in what i'm doing all of a sudden. blender posted in a thread i started that sort of helped shed some light on the matter for me, it might be helpful to you too: Try to remember that she has a pattern of doing what makes HER feel good in the moment, and this may just be about HER ego, and the fact that she didn't like you thinking SHE had changed. so her "intentions" are most likely more about HER curiosity, HER ego, HER guilt.. and not authentically about you... Link to comment
doyathink Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 ^blender rocks. consistent good advice. Link to comment
gnarlyhoc Posted February 4, 2008 Author Share Posted February 4, 2008 That is really good advice. I'm really not sure if i would want her back. Honestly i have been doing great without her. She was a little controlling. But i have learned to live on my own, and do things that i like to do. I think your advice is pretty good. And i don't want to be here to help her guilt. I want to be here because she likes who i am Link to comment
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