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Why do people do this to our hearts?


KG

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Went out tonight, had a few drinks, met this really nice woman.

We agreed to go to another bar together she even offered to be the DD. Guys hitting on her left and right, she's a cutie, she blows them all off, looks like she's with me!!!

She drops me off, I ask for a phone number, she tells me she's involved with another guy.

We had talked for hours about being with somone else, she never said a thing about her other. Till it was time for her to bring me home.

Why do people do this?

I don't get it.

I have to add that we were having areally fun time, shooting pool, touching, laughing together...

then shot down!

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I can't say why people do this... only verify that sometimes they do. I think the important thing is to take each experience for what it is. You had fun, right? It stinks that it's not going to go further, but for one night, you went out, and had a good time. Take it for what it is and see the positive parts of it. Luckily you were not all that invested. Think about how hard it would be if she had actually gone further with you and THEN begged off. It would be nice if people were upfront from the get-go, but there is always the other end of the spectrum, which include incidents where people string you on endlessly.

 

There will be other women, other nights, and eventually, the one that's important.

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It was bait and switch...see how much attention she could get, then BAM...Boyfriend!

Gawd I feel used.

And we talked about S/O's...none she said. Then the cell started ringing, and I got dropped off...

Is this what I have to look forward to???????

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Seems like she enjoyed basking in your attention at your expense, unfortunately.

I don't think it was accidental.

 

Don't let one ****************** spoil your outlook.

You know what a good woman is about, and they still wander the earth.

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You can't possibly be predicting what you have to look forward to. Every person and every situation is different. You met one person who was not as forthright as she should have been. What about the millions who are honest, and who actually mean what they say? They exist. Assuming future incidents will be bad is just illogical. Would you say that all jobs s*ck if you had one bad one? Would you say that all movies are terrible if you saw a lousy one? Of course not. Don't go down that road of thought.

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It was bait and switch...see how much attention she could get, then BAM...Boyfriend!

Gawd I feel used.

And we talked about S/O's...none she said. Then the cell started ringing, and I got dropped off...

Is this what I have to look forward to???????

 

Is this what we all have to look forward too? No, but there are bad apples out there. You've been out of the dating scene for awhile. Don't worry bud, you'll find someone. It doesn't seem like it now, bc you're lonely...but you will.

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But why screw with me?? I told her the whole story. Where does this make sense?

 

Honestly, KG, this whole experience and her behavior probably had nothing at all to do with you and everything to do with her. You were just there - you didn't do anything wrong to make her do this, or encourage her toying with you in any way. Some people are just messed up, and that is based entirely in them as people and has no reflection on those who are hurt by them.

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It may seem personal, but it really isn't. People do all sorts of dumb things for reasons that are beyond comprehension. Trying to figure it out is pointless. She did you a favor by being with someone else, believe me. I honestly feel sorry for the person she's with. What a mess!

 

I think you are a smart guy who knows that things don't make sense more often than they do!

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It stinks KG, but at least you put yourself out there! There is one thing though and PLEASE don't take it the wrong way or take is as me being critical because it's not and I really sympathize with your situation. But, you said you told her the whole story...for some women it can be kind of intimidating to get into anything with a man whose wife has passed away. It's like they are afraid they can never live up to the memory of what's been lost and the great memories you have and because the love is still there, they just won't give it a chance. Only some women though, so don't stop trying.

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OK,

Tis the next morning, and am actually able to laugh at this, in hindsight. She was the forward one, the hand on my shoulder, the " please show me how to play pool". If I was played, then at least I had a few hours of attention and fun. And am not a wreck! LOL!

Plus I learned a lesson...

So chalk this up to life.

I'm OK!

Oh, BTW, as far as telling her the whole story, she started the convo with me right off by asking why my wedding band was on my right hand. I don't volunteer this info unless asked. No offense taken, either.

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Went out tonight, had a few drinks, met this really nice woman.

We agreed to go to another bar together she even offered to be the DD. Guys hitting on her left and right, she's a cutie, she blows them all off, looks like she's with me!!!

She drops me off, I ask for a phone number, she tells me she's involved with another guy.

 

Similar thing happened to me at SPA few days ago...I got approached, she "followed" me from swimming pool to the gym and back, talking, drinking together, etc etc....and BAM!!!! She disappears. Later I've seen her making out with her bf in the swimming pool... What was that all about?

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I'm glad you're okay today and that you didn't take offense to what I was trying to say...I was worried 'cause you went offline right after

 

Try not to feel that you were played...maybe she just needed to have a few hours of attention and fun herself. It's not a reflection on you. Like you said, you had some fun so that's always a good thing.

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