The "Damn Weekends" Thread

[HouseOfCards]

So it's the weekend again and I'm locked up in my dorm room, as always. You'd be surprised how difficult it can be to socialize in a big university. At this point in the year most people have closed doors, and I feel weird just randomly knocking on doors and getting to know people, especially since I don't have much in common with the people I have met here. My agenda for these kind of nights is basically I do homework, have a cigarette, watch TV, have another, repeat. It's 10 PM and I almost wanna go to sleep already.

 

Most of my gang of friends go to school elsewhere, and I can't very well visit them every weekend. On top of this, I'm sure the girl I want is probably alone with her boyfriend right now a block away from me, and the thought of that is the last thing I need.

 

Anyone else have this problem? I'm not supposed to dread the weekends like this, but the fact that I'm so lonely when people around me aren't is just too much to take sometimes, so I had to vent.

[oldspice4me]

Yeah. Its tough. You just have to try talking to some people. I feel like I was in the same situation as youre in. I still dont hang out with people on my floor because I never got out there at the beginning but I happened to meet some people. Maybe if you tried just keeping your door open so people will be able to stop by it may help a little.

 

I know how it feels though because it really does seem tougher to get out there as the year goes on. Hope this can help.

 

Edit: Nobody from my school came here with me. I was the only one. Let alone all my friends are at college in state.

[Aleadragonhawk]

Might be a little out there, but have you tried looking into the different clubs on your campus? Big universities often have a ton of them, and meeting up with people with similar interests can often lead to friendship. Even if it doesn't, it'd be good to get out there and not be locked up in your dorm.

[HouseOfCards]

Yeah, I'd like to join a club, but they're all kinda academic-based, or based on something I'm not into. I'm probably just not looking hard enough though. Thanks for the reminder.

[tom1607307597]

i can kinda understand where you're coming from. sometimes i try leaving my door open but it usually just leads to me feeling like everyone is ignoring me since almost no one bothers to drop by. anyway I'm guessing you live in a dorm right? try going to any events they have (stuff like thanksgiving dinner), not a lot of people usually show up but still its a good chance to meet some people.

 

yeah, i agree with alea, try some clubs that you might find interesting. making friends there sometimes leads to hanging out outside of the club, then meeting some of their friends, which gives you a chance to meet more people.

 

having friends you knew from high school I believe helps out in the start of college unless you were really close, but from my experience they tend to go their own ways at time goes on because they are making their new friends. most of the ones that went to the same place as me don't talk with me as much as they used to.

[Weeblie]

Isn't there like a coffee shop on campus somewhere?

Staying in your room with a closed door isn't really going to help with meeting people. I've noticed that if I just go out and do my homework somewhere, like starbucks or whatever, people will eventually approach me. Plus, I don't feel like such a homebody because at least I'm outside.

[John14087]

Yeah man I feel ya! Every weekend is pretty much the same for me, I pretty much do the same thing as you. Of course I'm at home but essentially the same thing. It sucks!

[hello-I-am-me]

Weekends are horrible, at least during school I have things to do.

[HouseOfCards]

Right! At least during the week I don't feel guilty for not going out or something. Tonight should be better at least... my old buddy from high school that goes to school with me is having a Superbowl party so I'll stop by there to catch up. One of these weekends I'm gonna swallow my pride and ask my roommate if I can tag along when he hangs out with his friends or something. He's one of my best friends down here, and I've met his friends before and they're cool too, but I've always felt weird considering inviting myself along. Can't hurt though.

[saleen_281]

join a fraternity, it will help you meet people, and you will learn so much about life. no joke

[Phaser]

What I did on the weekend?

oh yeah I go to uni but its holidays at the moment.

 

Anyway on Sat I was working till 6. Messaged two of my friends asking them what are they doing. Both replied, 1 saying going here, other saying nto to sure yet.

A 3rd friend (didn't expect this one) messaged me saying if I was itnerested in doing anything that night?

 

It ends up being we all went out together, night wasn't too bad. Music was good but the club was mainly full of 25+ year olds.

[Haven]

I was in your situation last year. I didn't even have a roommate. I had literally 1 person I could call to hang out with. I would go weeks without seeing anyone outside of class. It was by far the most depressing year of my life.

 

The clubs thing didn't work for me. So I changed dorms, to one where it's normal to hang out in the common room of the dorm. Decided to make an effort to be sociable. It was extremely difficult at the beginning, since I felt really socially awkward and wasn't sure how to make friends. But now I actually have friends, I haven't spent a weekend alone in my room in months, and I even have a boyfriend. I went from having only 1 friend to all of that.

 

So, it's definitely possible to change your situation. I'd suggest joining some kind of frat (if you're at a big university, there are probably co-ed service/business frats that would be easy to get into) or finding a dorm that is known for being a community instead of just a place to live. Good luck.

[elizabethj]

i was in your exact situation. i got a job at a restaurant and now i have something to do on the weekend evenings. i havent really improved things at my school, but i am getting to know lots of other cool people who i now hang out with after work sometimes. seriously, getting a job was the best decision i've made in a long time. my roommate has noticed that i'm happier, and ive started making some new friends in my classes, so things are looking up. maybe you should try the same thing.

[HouseOfCards]

i was in your exact situation. i got a job at a restaurant and now i have something to do on the weekend evenings. i havent really improved things at my school, but i am getting to know lots of other cool people who i now hang out with after work sometimes. seriously, getting a job was the best decision i've made in a long time. my roommate has noticed that i'm happier, and ive started making some new friends in my classes, so things are looking up. maybe you should try the same thing.

 

This would be a really good idea, but right now I'm an engineering student and I'd feel guilty putting off potential study time for a part-time job. That could change next semester, however.

 

The last couple weekends have been a bit better. I have some friends who live on the other end of campus that I don't see too often, and I've been hanging out with them a bit more... I get along with that group pretty good, so I don't know why I've always been hesitant to hang out with them on a regular basis. Also, I made a friend in my math class, which is more than I can say for any engineering class I've ever taken. A girl too. A cute girl. Who knows...

 

As for the girl I mentioned in my first post that I go insane thinking about with her boyfriend a block away, well, that's gonna have to come to a head pretty soon. Rejection or not, I'm gonna feel a lot better after I tell her how I feel, and though I'm obviously optimistic, I think I'll be able to move on with my life if I'm rejected. Maybe finally be able to meet some girls without having her in the back of my mind...