Helping a cheater??

[ghost69]

my buddy wants me to go out and be his wingman this weekend. he's a good looking guy, i've seen some of the girls he's gotten with too. not bad.

 

but he contacted me and wants me to go out. i really had no plans but to work out and watch the super bowl. pretty basic weekend.

 

anyways, he met this girl somewhere. i said wow, she sounds great. i said what about *snowball*, thought you were getting back together? he said we are but this chick is hot. don't worry i'm going to give him crap about this and explain how i feel about it. i absolutely hate this to be honest. but this is on his head right? not mine? it's just like if two bros were going out for some drinks and met some girls and he cheated. i'm really not contributing.

 

i'm just really bummed by his behavior. i didn't think he was like this. i don't know his current gf for crap, met her once. she seems really nice. but isn't this jerky? dam im mad at him right now.

[lady00]

Yep, it's jerky. But I'm of the opinion that if a friend doesn't ask for my advice, I won't give it, when it comes to relationships. It can ruin a friendship. It stinks, but you're not responsible for his behavior. He's an adult and since you're not his parent, you're not in a position to give him moral guidance on this once. Unless you're encouraging him to cheat or pushing some girl at him then you're not doing anything wrong...and unless he solicits your advice, it's probably a good idea not to give it. However, if he asks, then no problem...let him know tactfully that you don't think it's right. Just my 2 cents.

[ghost69]

that's the thing. i don't condone this at all. the other thing he said is to pump him up to make him look good. like tell her how cool he is and such. i'm like ehhhh. i don't think i'm going to do that. i will go since she is supposedly gonna bring a friend. i hope he isn't mad when i leave with both of them though. lol

 

i understand this is something he needs to work on. i don't want to put him down or make him feel bad, i've know this guy forever. but you know, sometimes you can't really get into too deep with a friend unless they ask. just sucks. i guess i have to chalk it up as 'F'.

[Kiwi_Sweet]

Go out and enjoy yourself. Let him worry about his own mess. He has to lay in it, not you.=)

[DN]

Anyone who aids a criminal commit a crime, even by ignoring it, is a party to the crime. See 'misprision of a felony'. Rarely used now but still on the books.

 

Same principle here. Ethically and morally, you would be wrong to help him cheat.

[Dako]

Why do you ask?

Second thoughts?

 

If I were you, I'd feign interest in that beautiful snowball and grin.

[JeckyllNHyde]

wow ghost. from your posts seems like this stuff wouldn't bother you one bit (since you admitted to being a "player" in your younger days). but it's cool to see it does a bit.

 

i agree. he is a jerk. why try and get back with someone and then cheat or go with another chik b/c she is simple "hot"? then just be single and make no commitments!

i would say how i feel but guys like these, they don't learn until they find a girl who screws them over and does the same to them. then they want to label her all kinds of "not nice" names lol.

[ghost69]

Anyone who aids a criminal commit a crime, even by ignoring it, is a party to the crime. See 'misprision of a felony'. Rarely used now but still on the books.

 

Same principle here. Ethically and morally, you would be wrong to help him cheat.

 

that's a bit extreme don't you think?

 

Why do you ask?

Second thoughts?

 

no, i'm going. i just hate whats going on.

[DN]

that's a bit extreme don't you think?

Well, I am not saying you are commiting a felony.

 

However, the principle is the same. You obviously don't approve of what he is planning but are planning to help him do it.

 

But it's your conscience.

[Kiwi_Sweet]

Go out...Just because you are out with him, doesn't mean that you are helping him commit a "crime"...lol

 

Go out and have fun!!

 

Let him worry about his own life...

 

If you go lecturing him about what he needs to do, then it could push him away.

 

Trust me I'm sure he already knows what's ethically right and wrong. He's just choosing to be a butt. In the end, he'll be single anyway...

[ghost69]

wow ghost. from your posts seems like this stuff wouldn't bother you one bit (since you admitted to being a "player" in your younger days). but it's cool to see it does a bit.

 

i agree. he is a jerk. why try and get back with someone and then cheat or go with another chik b/c she is simple "hot"? then just be single and make no commitments!

i would say how i feel but guys like these, they don't learn until they find a girl who screws them over and does the same to them. then they want to label her all kinds of "not nice" names lol.

 

i see how you could wrap me up into being a guy that would have no problem with this. even though i was a player back in the day, i admit, i still always treated women properly. i had relationships in there somewhere. stayed faithful each time too. momma din raise no punk.

 

Go out...Just because you are out with him, doesn't mean that you are helping him commit a "crime"...lol

 

Go out and have fun!!

 

Let him worry about his own life...

 

If you go lecturing him about what he needs to do, then it could push him away.

 

Trust me I'm sure he already knows what's ethically right and wrong. He's just choosing to be a butt. In the end, he'll be single anyway...

 

oh, i'm going. i guess i won't bring it up to him. while i don't approve, he needs to ruin his own life i guess. not that his isn't already pretty screwed up. (other things) lol

[Miss Firecracker]

I don't think you'll enjoy your evening with him, Ghost.

[ghost69]

I don't think you'll enjoy your evening with him, Ghost.

 

i'm thinking i'm not even going to pay attention to him. i'm just gonna hang with him. i won't give him women tips anymore though.

[Miss Firecracker]

Just be sure you don't introduce him to yours. LOL

[ghost69]

Just be sure you don't introduce him to yours. LOL

 

lol. i have game. i can keep a woman satisfied and loyal. he is the least of my problems when i'm with a woman. lol and yes when i'm with a woman i'm with her. unlike my friend here.

 

this is why he wants me to go. he knows i'm a talker and can keep the party going. *sigh* such a morale dilemma i swear. just disgusts me more than anything. but i will say cheers with a beer and prolly forget about it.

[Hope75]

If you don't approve and don't feel comfortable, why go?

 

If you don't want to lecture him, you don't have to. You can just decline.

[PixelPusher]

Well you do what you want to do but you asked for opinions. Technically you could go out and not be responsible for him cheating on his girlfriend with this supposed smoking "hot" chick. *roll eyes here*

 

But if I were in your shoes I wouldn't do it. It's one thing if you didn't know, but if he told ME what he told you, I just couldn't go and witness him being a scumbag. I'd want NO part of it, or even be seen with him while he was prowling for tail.

 

That's just me, though.

[JeckyllNHyde]

Glad your going. No point staying home. Besides if you don't like it this time, you don't need to go next time. No biggie.

 

I agree. Don't bother lecturing this fool and giving him tips. He will just mstake you for a "playa hayta" lol. He doesn't listen anyways when you try and explain morals to him. Why should he benefit from other wisdom. Hopefully someday he will learn on his own. Just as long as you know better that's what matters.

[LE DHUY NHUT]

Read the post carefully,he said his friend is single....i.e his friend and the 'Snowball' are getting together but they are not together now....technically it's not cheating because they haven't gotten back together but that's just being technical.When people break up they are free to do whatever until they OFFICIALLY get back together.Morally however if they are getting back together and have both agreed to get back together then it's wrong.The fact that he's doing this thing doesn't say much for how much he loves 'snowball.'

[CallingAllAngels]

the other thing he said is to pump him up to make him look good. like tell her how cool he is and such. i'm like ehhhh. i don't think i'm going to do that.

 

Dude...From your posts...I don't see you doin' that either.

 

Yeah...what he's doin' is "jerky"...I agree with you.

 

But, he's your friend. And it's his sh**. Like you said, he's gotta lay in it, not you.

 

The less you get involved, the better.

 

~Allie

[knightNshiningarmor]

haha once both girls like you adequately enough you could always at that time drop.."so X..whats your girlfriend doing right now?".....but no i think thats a tuff call..i try and not surround myself with people im not morally in sink with. then again it seems their relationship has been rocky and may be good for him to play the field a little but then again they are trying ot git it another chance...but its not like they are madly in love going on their 3+ year or anything either...so my advice is first see if there is any more to the story then go with your gut.

[Censored]

Hmmmm,

 

I believe that as his FRIEND, you should help to steer him in the right direction.

 

Friends are not about NOT taking responsibility for each other.

 

Let your friend know that you think what he is doing sucks. Also let him know why.

 

At the end of the day, you will still be his friend, but more imptorantly you'll be doing what friends are meant to do

"Looking out for each others welfare and wellbeing".

 

I can't understand all the other posts telling you to ignore it.

 

I mean, sure, take the easy road and ignore it, and let him be the jerk, and let him lay in the bed he makes.

 

Or take the road a friend would take.

 

Your choice.

[itsallgrand]

You can be honest, tell him it bothers you and say "No" to playing the game for him.

 

If during the night he gives you an old buddy guilt trip, just call him on it.

 

And if he pushes the issue, start to make it public.

 

Let him make an jerk of himself. You don't need to help nor avoid it - only be true to yourself.

 

Maybe corny, and maybe he'll get a bit upset - but that is his crap not yours. Getting mad or irritated with a buddy cause they won't play your game ? That's childish, and you know it.

 

Perhaps people such as myself could stand to be more flexible - but this to me is a slippery slope.

 

And fair or not, those we keep company with and go along with - even silently- will partly determine who we turn out to be.

 

So act as the guy you wanna be.

[DN]

"All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing."

Edmund Burke

[ghost69]

well, u can't kill me with a good time. i'm not going to let it spoil my saturday night out. that's ultimately his choice. i'm only going to say anything if he asks. who knows, maybe after a few beers ill just bust out, 'you know i don't approve of this?' and ask him how he'd feel if she was out like this.