Need help making a tough decision

[V1000]

My maternal grandfather has just passed away unexpectedly, I am extremely shocked and saddened by his death and cannot believe that he's gone forever. The difficult decision I am facing is that his funeral is on Tuesday but before the funeral I have been asked to visit my grandmother to pay my respects on Sunday and Monday (or at least to visit on Sunday when all of the family will be there). The problem is that I am very busy on these days (I'm currently at uni) running an important uni event and going would require disappointing a lot of people on very short notice. I am only able to attend the funeral. However if I don't go I may upset members of my family (especially my grandmother) which I obviously don't want to do. My uni is very far away from where my grandmother lives so it's impossible for me to do both things. My parents have said that they would like me to come but understand if I can't make it. What to you think I should do in this situation? What would you do?

 

Many thanks.

[DN]

Welcome to eNotAlone.

 

For me, family comes first. Unless this would be a severe career-limiting move that would really adversely affect you. People should understand even if they are disappointed.

[Hope75]

I agree with DN- I would put my family first in this situation too.

 

If you explain your situation you uni should be understanding and grant you a leave of absense for bereavement.

[Mythical_Suicide]

First off, I want to say i'm sorry for your loss!

But..

I also agree, Family should come first.

While there may be some disappointed people at your UNI, your family needs you! Especially your grandmother.

[avman]

Definitely go to the funeral. These things happen when we least expect it and everybody at uni will completely understand. It's not like you could have planned for this so take the time and go to the funeral.

 

Your family needs you just like Mythical Suicide said.

[itsallgrand]

What is the uni event?

 

It would depend. How important the event is to you vs. how important it is to your grandmother you be there on those specific days.

 

For myself, if the event were anything but something I had worked very hard on and had to do right then - I would go see the family.

 

If it's something where you have this one shot and that is it, then I'd arrange to spend some extra time after the funeral with grandma.

 

It depends on what is important to who, and how badly do you want to be with your family at that time too?

[Anotherday]

I would go to pay my respects as asked to do.

 

As someone with two degrees and other education, it's overrated, in the big scheme of things. There are plenty of classes and plenty of education to be had going forward. You only have this one opportunity to spend time with your family and focus on things.