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Going out and spending money w/dates and friends


NewPhillyGuy

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I'm not really sure if this is in the right forum, but I put it in here as it applies to dating as well as with friends, or just in general.

 

What I am wondering about is what are the spending habits of other people in my age group 24-30 when it comes to doing things on the outside - going out to eat, out for drinks, etc?

 

Do you find that you "go out" very often - a few times a week?

Fairly often - say 3-4 times a month?

Rarely - once, maybe twice a month?

 

This could apply to dates, out with friends, etc.

 

Myself, I seem to fluctate here. I've gone through period where I would be going out for dinner at least once a week, sometimes twice. This was usually when I was dating someone. On average, I would say that I spent around $200-$300 per month between dates and going out with friends. At other times, mostly when I was single, I would only go out once or twice a month, spending around $100 doing things with friends like bowling, getting dinner, going for drinks, etc.

 

I'm single now, and I have some friends who like to go out to eat a lot, but I just don't want to because I don't like to "waste" the money. I mean, I will still do it, because it is a social thing, so every so often is cool. However, there are some people who will be going out to eat every week and then do stuff on the weekend, and I don't want $400 a month on this stuff when I can make great food at home and eat there.

 

The last question I want to ask is what are the typical spending habits for people who are dating in my age group. The last few girls I dated, it felt like they expected me to take them out once a week. The places around me aren't cheap with a dinner costing probably between $40 and $60. You add some drinks or another activity on top of that, parking the car, etc and you are easily at $100. I've done $400-$500 a month before just on dates, etc.

 

Do women in my age group actually expect this over doing this at home? I could see going out 2-3 times a month initially and probably down to 1-2 later on, but the last few women I have dated didn't like that. They wanted to be taken out almost all the time, and the last one I dated would complain if I suggested that we go to either or our places to cook and watch a movie, etc.

 

I just re-read this and realized how long it is and how it might sound whiney. It's not that I don't make enough money, but I'm more intent on saving up for a house, my masters, etc. I just can't see spending that kind of money on dating, and I don't think it should be necessary, but it seems these days that you can't keep a girl's attention unless you are willing to throw alot of money around.

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Hehe. I've been out with my fiance for dinner about 5 times in eleven months I would say!!! I dont care. I'd much rather spend a night in and have him or me cook. Even early on we went on casual dates like drives or picnics or to the pub or something. Cheap dates!

 

Im eighteen and hes twenty one and we dont have that much money which is something to do with it. Most of my female friends older and younger would be happy with once or twice a month.

 

Maybe your dating girls that are much too fussy and after the wrong thing!

 

And you should spend your money on important things, not girls that are interested in your money.

 

When you find a girl whose either willing to pay halves or offer to pay sometimes at least and wants to spend evenings in, i think you'll have found the right one!

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I'm not in the specific age group you mentioned since I am only 22, but what I do to keep my costs down on non-date scenarios:

 

A. If it's a clubbing / bar night, I'll pre-drink at home or over at some friend's house. I will only take one or two cheap drinks (aka beer etc...) at the actual bar or club.

B. If it's a restaurant night; usually these tend to be later than I eat supper in my experience (6-7pm). I'll eat supper at home and grab a coffee or a pitcher over there. You could also maybe split an appetizer plate with other people as another option.

 

I don't think I would want to go over to someone's house for a movie and cooked supper on a first date to be honest. Not because the guy won't be spending money on me but I would not be comfortable in such a situation.

 

I can understand wanting to go out, especially if you are inside a house all the time - but maybe switch to less expensive dates such as skating, movies, coffee etc... skip the fancy restaurants.

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Am glad to help! If a womans more interested in your money, getting free meals and doesnt want to spend time with you without you spending money on her shes in it for the wrong things.

 

I never get presents and hardly ever taken out but I know thats just due to us not having money and I appreciate it all the more when we do

 

Good luck ^-^ x

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I don't think I would want to go over to someone's house for a movie and cooked supper on a first date to be honest. Not because the guy won't be spending money on me but I would not be comfortable in such a situation.

 

 

I definitely agree with you there. I wouldn't ask a girl over to my place so quickly. I would potentially ask after 4-5 dates, if I felt she was comfortable with me.

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wow on the age. good luck on your marriage.

 

but you seem like you have a good head on your shoulders. i only say good luck based on statistics. but any girl dating me for money will hit the curb really quick. i can usually tell them a mile away.

 

Definatley. If i had any money. Any guy dating me for it would be out in a shot lol.

 

Thank youuu. I wont be getting married for a good few years. Only been living with him 6 months dont want to rush into it thats for sure. I definatley know the statistics dont promise a happily ever after but im just enjoying each day as it comeees and its pretty good

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wow on the age. good luck on your marriage.

 

but you seem like you have a good head on your shoulders. i only say good luck based on statistics. but any girl dating me for money will hit the curb really quick. i can usually tell them a mile away.

 

She does, doesn't she? RoseJessica, there are girls between 25-30 who don't see the money situation quite like you do. I can definitely appreciate your maturity and thoughtfulness toward the topic.

 

At the risk of sounding harsh, I think some young women are stuck in the "daddy's girl" mode, so 1) they don't think it all the way through, because it's not their own money being spent and 2) they are just used to getting what they want.

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She does, doesn't she? RoseJessica, there are girls between 25-30 who don't see the money situation quite like you do. I can definitely appreciate your maturity and thoughtfulness toward the topic.

 

At the risk of sounding harsh, I think some young women are stuck in the "daddy's girl" mode, so 1) they don't think it all the way through, because it's not their own money being spent and 2) they are just used to getting what they want.

 

A few girls I know are very much stuck in that mode. Their parents buy them everything. I dont know how they'll deal in the real world!! You dont need the hassle of that! Wait until you find someone whose had to work for what they have and is grown up enough to appreciate what you do regardless of how much you spend.

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i usually don't go for girls that have to be out on the town every weekend. i hate that. last girl i dated had to be out every weekend. like she was missing something. she would always act so bored when we'd stay in. just another reason why i dumped her. she was totally into me, don't get me wrong. i just hated the whole night life thing all the time.

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Yeah you have to be able to spend time together without spending money. I mean if you get married and have kids your definatley not going to be out twice or three times a week out on the town! You have to be comfortable in eachothers company and if you really like eachother it should be entertainment enough just to be with one another.

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A few girls I know are very much stuck in that mode. Their parents buy them everything. I dont know how they'll deal in the real world!! You dont need the hassle of that! Wait until you find someone whose had to work for what they have and is grown up enough to appreciate what you do regardless of how much you spend.

 

When I was a little bit older than you (23), I was also living with my fiancée (19) and we were very poor at first. We had just enough to scrape by every month to keep our bills paid, rent paid, etc. I don't think it was until then that I realized how much it really costs to survive on your own, and truly had an appreciation for living under my parent's roof.

 

I thought about all of this again this winter when it got really cold. I know this does not compare to more northern parts of the country, but I remember a few winters ago when it went down to -4 to -10F and you would see on the news that people with no money for heat were dying or they were dying because they were trying to use their stoves to keep warm and the place burnt down. Was thinking about this prob two weeks ago when I turned the thermostat to 69 on a cold day, and realized how lucky I am to have a nice apartment with heat, etc.

 

Then, I think about some people out there who takes things for granted with total disgust!

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I mean if you get married and have kids your definatley not going to be out twice or three times a week out on the town!

 

That's exactly the way I look at it. If I'm married with kids and going out drinking with my wife 2-3 times a week, well, where are my kids and why am I not taking care of them instead?

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Yep. You gotta be able to enjoy eachothers company in any situation because you can't go out ALL the time forever. Most married couples go out once a month at the most in my experience and they make the most of that time together but they dont get bored if they are not out.

 

You just have to find someone who thinks like you and im sure you will

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we all have our moods in relationships. Even now I go through cabin fever. But the every night all night.. that was never me anyway. I was never interested in those kinds of guys.

 

the girls i met were. there were plenty of them too. i had no idea what i wanted though.

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the girls i met were. there were plenty of them too. i had no idea what i wanted though.

 

 

 

Oh yeah I know who you're talking about. For ex my brothers are real laid back dudes and the party chics were alwaaaaay attracted to them. They went with the flow cause these chics were fun at the time. It has to be balanced. Both cant act like a 90 year old but both also cant act like the 30 year old man-child / woman-child all the time either.

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