Book advice vs. peer advice??

[LittleMadmoiselle]

Ok guys...so I'm fairly young and still pretty new to the dating game. I have dated very casually but I've been in 2 long-term relationships. One was 2 years, the last one was a year. I still have some things to learn.

 

My question to all of you is (and I know this has been asked before...but I'll phrase it again): have any of you relied on any book advice (i.e. "The Rules", "Why Men Love B****ES", "How To Date Like A Man", "Superflirt", etc.) that has aided you well in relationships? Or do you fly by the seat of your pants and trust your own feelings and that of your peers' when it comes to "the dating game"? Do the authors of these books know what they're talking about? Or are they just hungry for the money out of our pockets?

 

Personally, I hate playing games and believe in just putting my feelings out on the table, but I don't know if that's necessarily worked for me in past relationships. But getting back into the dating world again has stirred up my curiosity, especially after really falling for a particular guy in the last few weeks, and I've found myself skimming through these books at Borders lately..and wondering if the authors really have a point with some things (i.e. disappearing for a week after dating a guy for a while to "pique" his interest, not sleeping with someone too soon to "up" your value, etc.). They sound so convincing when they explain their reasons for why you should be "playing the game".

 

Do you think they have a point? Or do you think it just completely depends on the person/specific relationship?? (Personally, I have naturally followed some of these rules and completely run amok of others...and it all came down to how the PERSON's personality/attitude was in the long run. But that's only 2 experiences for me.).

 

I am eager to hear all of your advice...

[Aleadragonhawk]

I never used a book as a guide for relationships. I don't know how much they help, but I'd look really carefully at them to be sure that you want what the author is selling before you sign up for the program. If you're looking for a loving, dedicated, honest relationship, a book on how to "get your man to do EXACTLY what you want with these seven easy steps" probably won't be a good buy.

[ghost69]

a book can give you tips. there might be something to learn. never used them for dating or relationship anything. everything i have learned has been hands on. i find it to be the only way. it's the same thing for college. they can only teach you so much. when you go work for a company, you need to find out how they do business. i don't care what a book says.