Friends...and so much more!

[aabryana]

Okay...odd situation, although I'm sure I can't be alone in this...

My ex-boyfriend (we'll call him Jay) and I had been dating for two-and-a-half years. After we split up, I began seeing a friend (aka Brian)--quite seriously--a week later. Brian and I have known each other for close to ten years...and our relationship formed quite harmlessly and naturally. We get along so well and it's really a wonder we never dated before. Anyway, Jay got very upset by this and wanted to rekindle our relationship (which had been dead for a long long time--he was severely emotionally abusive toward me and had been for about two years). To make a long story relatively short, Jay was stalking me and I had to have the court and police intervene. Brian and I want to continue our relationship, but right now with the severity of the stalking it's probably not a good idea, however we want to remain friends. How does this work? What are the rules? We are both still crazy about each other and I'm not sure how to act around him if he can't be my boyfriend right now. Help me or shoot me...whichever will solve my problem...

[charmed]

Hi aabryana,

 

Well. Firstly, I'm not sure why you and your boyfriend should split up over this. Your ex could well continue stalking you even if you are single !! The problem is your ex. You need to stop him stalking you by whatever means necessary. Just call the cops on the guy continuously on the guy whenever he as much as moves near you. Split with your man, and the ex may well think it is a sign that he has a) made progress and possibly b) that he still has a chance with you.

 

Remaining friends is another situation altogether. If you are to remain friends with the guy, then you will be seen from time to time with him by your ex. So, that could be a problem. The reasons surrounding your reason for not being together with him may start to become a problem as time goes on, and you could loose each other as friends again over the ex.

 

My advice is deal with the ex, and try to salvage what appears to be a potentially great relationship.

 

Hope this helps you some,