feel a little lost Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 Like my name says I am lost. Would like to be able to approach and start conversations but have no idea on what to say when I see a woman that I would like to talk to. I have some kind of inner fear in starting conversations mabey its about being rejected even if I am only looking to talk without trying to pick them up. Everyone would say this makes me shy but the truth is I just do not know what to say or where to take the conversation afterwards I guess I am looking for a nice polite way to meet more women not only for dating but also just for friendly chat. My friends tell me all of this is in my head but when I am out I notice it. And its starting to give me a complex where iI am starting to think I am ugly or a loser Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 Just talk to them! Girls are just as insecure and at a loss for words as you are. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 All you need is a "hey, how are you" or just a simple hello or a smile. You dont know till you try! Link to comment
wayoverit Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 And where do you go from there? After, "hello and smile" and "how are you? good, great"? I think the OP means what else you can say to keep the conversation from going downhill. I like to know how the Pros do it and it's been proven their technique really worked. hahaha Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 usually the words just flow....Personally I like shy, somewhat awkward guys. I know plenty of girls that do. Just be nice. There really isn't a key....once you get used to it, you become more charismatic but that has a lot to do with self-esteem, something that can't be learned. Link to comment
mr me Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 I really dont think it has anything to do with fear of talking to girls honestly. If its come from bad experiences before i would try to find a way to change how things in ur past have made u feel. I came from where u came from and it could be alot of reasons from talking to the wrong type of girls to having to learn over time how to communicate with others. I would try to find other things u can do to increase ur confidence or self-esteem. If u dont know how look up on the internet. The way u ask just makes me seem like ur not looking to play the whole dating game and just want to meet genuinely good girls. That is a pretty difficult thing because it all really is that in the way it works the people that u find urself around are a reflection of urself so to find or attract someone that u feel like would be a good match has alot to do with how u are. I would also warn that sometimes it can be pretty tough because people do end up in bad relationships and its all a learning process so thats just a heads up Link to comment
definitely_maybe Posted February 1, 2008 Share Posted February 1, 2008 Some people are more open than others. Sometimes something simple to break the ice helps, like asking for the time. Just saying something, anything, can break the ice, and let them know that they can talk to you, which sometimes leads to conversations. Example, one time a girl at my bus stop asked me for a bandaid. I thought it was a little strange (it's not an item i typically carry) but it broke the ice, and we talk all the time now. Link to comment
feel a little lost Posted February 1, 2008 Author Share Posted February 1, 2008 I would like to start by thanking everyone for the excellent advice. Mr me yes a lot of it is in my mind from the past some of it going from a small 4 room catholic school house to a large public school and got picked on because I was really small and quiet. I have been in a couple of relationships including being married for 9 years. But I was always introduced to everyone I was with. And yes getting divorced really did mess me up which is the main reason I am a little paranoid getting into a relationship at this time even though its been a little over a year. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted February 1, 2008 Share Posted February 1, 2008 I would like to start by thanking everyone for the excellent advice. Mr me yes a lot of it is in my mind from the past some of it going from a small 4 room catholic school house to a large public school and got picked on because I was really small and quiet. I have been in a couple of relationships including being married for 9 years. But I was always introduced to everyone I was with. And yes getting divorced really did mess me up which is the main reason I am a little paranoid getting into a relationship at this time even though its been a little over a year. Aww, I'm sorry to hear that you were hurt. However, you have to be able to make yourself vulnerable again. After all that, do you really think that some girl saying no to a nice date could really phase you? It must have taken a lot to heal yourself after the divorce, don't underestimate your strength. Link to comment
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