My father is a pervert.

[babybear]

About a year ago I went on my dad's computer to print something and saw he had left MSN up. A woman had messaged him some filth. I was very shocked and went onto the emails. There were loads of emails to women of a sexual and friendship nature saying he was single. There were also emails of confirmations of online dating websites he had signed up to. Due to the fact that he has been happily married to my mother for 25 years I immidiately confronted him and told my mum. He managed to get out of it though, claiming that it wasn't him it was his friend who had recently split up from his wife and wanted to meet women. He said this friend had used his name and birthday (as my dads birthday was on the dating websites i checked up on) but he didn't know that. He said sometimes his friend needs to reply to these women but is unable to due to his wife he is splitting up with and so my dad knows the password to his account and will sign occasionally sign in for like 2 seconds to pass on messages to them. He also said he had no idea that the conversations going on were filthy. I of course thought this all sounded like utter rubbish but one thing managed to convince me and that was in the emails I read, a picture had been sent to one of the women by my dad saying it was him but it was of someone I have never seen before and not in our house, thus my dad said it was his friend. My dad is a very aggressive person and was persistent in denying that any of this was him. He swore on our lives and says he hates infedility.

 

Anyway today I am on his computer again and have just discovered when going on Facebook that there is another email registered to it. I typed the address into Myspace and up comes an account with my dads name, his star sign, and single status. However on myspace there are no pictures or any friends. I can't seem to find him on Facebook and this new email address isn't a hotmail like last year it's a yahoo account. I've tried to hack into it but I keep getting like the birthdate or postcode wrong. I don't know what to do now.

[ProtestTheHero]

I'd leave it alone. I personally would see this as a problem between my parents, in which I wouldn't get involved. If he denies it persistently, continuing to confront him will only make him angry. I really don't see what's to be gained by playing the role of super sleuth here either.

 

Let your parents work it out. I find that whenever I actively get involved in issues between family members, things only end up worse. Your dad is going to make his own decisions, and it's up to him and his wife to deal with what's going on.

'

[MorbidMetalHead87]

Well I would be cross to at my dad.

[annie24]

yeah, your father is a pervert AND a liar, a bad one at that. his 'friend' is divorced and is using his email address and birthdate? yeah, whatever. that's one of the dumbest excuses i have ever heard. and your dad needs to reply to these women because.....? that's all a lie, of course he is corresponding with these women and he put up those profiles.

 

i think you did what you could, you let mom know and confronted dad. of course, dad managed to lie about it. maybe this is the way your parents have survived 25+ years of marriage? he does stuff while she looks the other way. your mom can't be totally clueless..... i'd leave it alone, and move out if it really starts to bother you.

[HealingHandsWarmHeart]

yeah i agree with annie.. your dad is definitely lying to you and your mother... unfortunately, thats between your mother and your father- and if your mother has been made aware of what is going on and her choice is to believe his ridiculous story- then thats your moms business... you did what you could.

 

what a horrible position to be put in ..and i completely sympathize with you.

[Hearts]

If I were you after I found out this, I would only tell about that to my mom as kind of a secret instead of telling both my mom and dad, so your mom could have a more objective idea on it at first, think a bit and she could have decided how to approach to your dad about the situation, instead of your dad starts to lie about it and try to manipulate your mom's ideas yet he wouldn't have known that you were the one who found out and how, now he knows it was you then he knows how to protect himself from you for the next time.

 

Yet my suggestion is not to get involved in the situation directly since you already did your part.

[Dako]

I'd have simply told Dad you know about his hobby, and ask him what Mom thinks.

Then step away and let him squirm.

 

This is really between your parents.

[CaptainPlanet]

I would leave this well alone.

[LostInMyThoughts]

I'm with the others.

 

Stay out of it, and stop snooping around.

[TheSmilingTurnip]

Please remember that you cannot save your parents' marriage. That is between them and only them. Back off and stop snooping. Leave your dad alone. You are not being a savior, but rather a destructive force. Let your parents deal with *their* marriage.

[KG]

^^^I'm with phreckles.

KG

[Kantriakhor]

I was in this situation when I was younger, what I did was print everything out and leave it for my mother to find. Though I dislike both parents I felt that it was in her best interest to be armed with such facts when the divorce would come before he could delete it.

 

I'm going to have to be opposed to the consensus in that I would print out everything, take screenshots of things, and then give it all to your mother (then or at a later date) but I would not try to get any more involved than that only because for your safety.

 

In my opinion, your father has lost the privilege to call you his child.

[Hellzapoppin]

What you did was wrong - that was your Dad's computer. Anything you saw on there, is his business.

You should have minded your own affairs and kept your mouth shut.