johnmmm Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 iv posted about this before and just need further advice on this issue. im about to give up on this girl, she has some real issues about commitment and im tired worrying about it. i know she loves me but she is always looking for something to complain about, always picking out the bad points about me and blowing them up, always cracking up about small insignificant things, she can be like two people, one minute being loving and acting like im great and the next minute acting like she has no interest in me what so ever. we used to work together when she was studying, now she has finished and has got a good job, passed her driving test and got a new car, thing started to change, i doint know what is going on, mayb it just the 9 to 5 monday to friday that is getting her down or she has all this new stuff in her life and now thinks that i doint fit into her new life anymore. now it seems like she dos not want to spend time with me, seems like she has been making excuses not to see me. but if i act like i doint care that she dos not want to see me and stop talking to her for any amount of time she freaks out and is al over me again. she seems extremely confused and it relay getting me down doint know what she wants from me and im starting to question what i want. i know we are good together but seems like she needs to sort some things out in her own head and stop pushing me away. what can i do? need a bit of help..... Link to comment
Censored Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 Yu need to concentrate on YOURSELF. Forget what her worries are for the moment. Forget what her desires are for the moment. Forget what her needs and wants are for the moment. Instead, focus on YOUR needs, wants and desires that do not include her. You are handy to have around when she feels like she wants you there, OR if it appears you may be drifting away. This is NOT a healthy relationship in that format. You need to strengthen yourself by focussing on yurself. You are NO good to her, or to yourself if you are not an independent confident person. Keep your distance for yourself and dont drop everything the next time she feels she needs to see/rely/want/have you. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 I responded to your thread yesterday..but I really think you need to re-evaluate what you are getting out of this relationship. Although you may be good together when you are together, is the aggravation overshadowing the good times? When you are walking around hurt and aggravated more often than happy with her, then it is time to consider getting out of it. I would suggest that before you make any decisions, you have a good heart to heart talk with her about your frustrations and pain regarding her behaviour. If she shuts down and doesn't want to hear it, or tries to twist it around on you, then you know you have nobody to work with, no real partner. She may agree and make some attempts at fixing her behaviour, but then fall back on it. Her attitude needs to change for good, not temporarily until she placates you. Link to comment
johnmmm Posted January 31, 2008 Author Share Posted January 31, 2008 is the aggravation overshadowing the good times? When you are walking around hurt and aggravated more often than happy with her, I would suggest that before you make any decisions, you have a good heart to heart talk with her about your frustrations and pain regarding her behaviour. thanx again for your response. yes at the minute i am frustrated most of the time, its just that i doint understand how she can change moods so quickly, it is relay strange and unsettling. i have spoke to her about this, (after i stopped trying to talk to her about it is when she decided she wanted to talk about it). i explained to her that i was coming to the end of what i am willing to take and that iv spent to much time trying to figure out what her problem is and that she should be the one thinking about it not me, i explained how it makes me feel and she was very upset, she said i didint deserve it and that she thot that i was to good for her, im stating to think she mite be right because i have alway tryed to be the best boyfriend i could be, was always there for her and would have did anything for her but i feel she takes this for granted and she dos not relies what i do until i stop doing it. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 she said i didint deserve it and that she thot that i was to good for her That's a classic "not really taking responsibility" reaction. When people say stuff like that it means they have no intention of really changing their behaviour...it is turning it around on you basically saying "take it or leave it". Why not take her at her word and decide that you are too good for her and walk away. When people make statements like the above, they are really daring you to leave...calling your bluff so to speak...because they figure you won't leave. Why not call her bluff and actually leave and tell her you have had enough of this. She has now been warned that you are not happy with her behaviour...she chooses to do nothing about it and doesn't expect you to walk away..she expects you to take it, no matter how much you complain to her. I would say walk away...she is showing you that she doesn't care to change her behaviour despite her fluff words of you don't deserve to be treated like that. All empty words not backed up by actions. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 women that say their bf is too good for them have some really heavy underlying issues. she needs to deal with these problems. on her own. my last relationship ended cause of this. she needed to work on herself and i needed to get out. it was driving me nuts. Link to comment
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